Sunday, October 30, 2005

Tickets, kicking around - online communication

Well not much going on for halloween weekend really - eh I think I will dress up for work on monday at least - I am going as a dork thing - a yellow smiley face that has vampire teeth. That should make me look all official as I have a couple of meetings and training sessions. "Yes we are instituting this new curriculum for our Exploratory class and stop giggling at my costume, I am being serious here damnit people...." :-D

I love using smiles and emoticons - anyone who chats with me online and even in my blogs knows I love the smiley - I actually have this whole complicated hierarchy setup - no shit - online communication lacks so much. Yet people develop speech and mood/feeling patterns in cyberspace just as they do in real life. Just harder to catch and you have to be very observant... I mean down to how many times they use prepositions or conjunctions, how they type out slang, contractions, what greeting they use, how many times they say ok vs eh or ah or such…. and so on - it is interesting to note.

I actually witnessed this in a bad way as I saw the change of someone I liked very much online before she totally went offline – it was scary and telling and well that is a story for another time (or go through my old blogs for hints). But the changes came in to me loud and clear through online communication...

But this subject recently came up because I had been lazy and not signing in and replying to someone and they asked me if it was me and said they could kinda tell from my accent (and my julie speak) – haha, hee-haw and a bit o' the whee... I have an online accent - I love it!

So anyhoo, I kinda use different smileys to convey feelings - I mean there is a difference in using :-) :) :^) :-D and so on - plus coupled with things like lol, LOL, hehe, haha, whee and so on - yes I am a geek - ah well I love it so there

Hmm I did rent the movie Bewitched this weekend - can that count as my Halloween activity???? lol

Got tickets to go see April Smith at The Stone Pony in December. It is billed as a CD release party – cools!!!!! (and counting down time until Cyndi in November – oh yeah!!!).

Friday, October 28, 2005

Hunter and Tracker - Chapter 2

The sunlight streamed in through the slatted blinds casting shadows and random patterns of light on the dark blue comforter. The body nestled underneath began to stir and the lump shifted shape. The calico balled up at one end of the lump yawned and then kneaded through the covering some in protest as the movements became more pronounced and threatened to upset the cat.

An arm snaked out and languidly moved to rest in an empty space. It then patted the bed as if in confusion and began patting a pathway up until it hit a pillow where it stopped. "Sherri?" A muffled voice tried to get through from beneath the comforter.

A tussled tawny colored head peeked up and repeated the word, "Sherri?"

"Oh yeah." Was the follow up saddened reply after a moment as the owner of the voice became more aware of her surroundings. Pulling deep back under the covers, the form balled up into a tighter, smaller lump and stopped all movement save for a tiny shaking in one area which corresponded roughly to where the woman's shoulders were curled up.

Mr. FancyPants had quietly watched the slight movement tracking to see if it was worth investigating. Finally deciding he was hungry, the cat stretched and moved up near the shaking part of the lump and started sniffing around trying to locate a familiar scent to prod into feeding him. After a movement he found the top of the comforter and began snaking his nose and head underneath.

"Hey, your nose is all wet and cold, get out of there." The muffled exclamation came as the lump shifted and stretched, a head coming out to glare at the animal as it made itself at home on the unused pillow. "Sherri was right, I don’t need an alarm clock between you and her.

She'd not set the clock as she knew she was not expected at work and in fact a late night message on her answering machine had confirmed she had been given the week off. That had raised her eyebrows as she had been sitting drinking some wine after dinner and reading through a novel when the phone call came in.

"A whole week…" she had pondered listening to the machine click off. She had let the machine do the greeting and answering for the night not feeling too social after talking to Sherri. Well she never really was social anyway, Sherri was the mixer and mover. Shaker and stirrer.

She just provided the details, the support, the dreams, the quiet follow-up and missed points that everyone else missed as they were busy moving and shaking. But that was Jaden, the over looked who looked out for those things that were left out.

After a long, hot shower and trying to decide what to wear, Jaden made her way downstairs. She stopped in the living room to turn on the CD player. She put in one of her mix CDs and headed toward the kitchen. Starting to delve through the cupboards, she found herself humming to the current song.

She brought over the bag of cereal and set it on the counter thinking over the lyrics that drifted through place. She'd always found this tune by Ari Scott to be a natural sing along. Add to the uplifting rhythm the memory it always pulled from Jaden and she found Fill of Love to be one of her favorites. She let her thoughts drift along with the song as she was pulled back to the first time she'd heard this song.

Okay mood is weird and will be for a bit but moving along anyways

I think modifying the Green Day song "Wake Me When September Ends" by subbing November in for September would be good right about now. The couch has been more and more my chosen place of residence… and the sleep is shifting once again… I gotta really watch myself.

I made it through another administrator workshop… I get very nervous – like tummy all upset and in puke mode. Plus tomorrow – well later today at work I have to take on a lead, assertive role and as I admitted to a co-worker yesterday that is one part of the job and if I move in the direction my boss wants me to, future job that I have problems with. I can lead and create and come up with ideas and how to implement… but I tend to be very shy, introvert and non-assertive. Someone going into an administrative position needs those qualities but also needs more backbone and to be sure of themselves… I have a major character flaw, as we all do…

But one of my many flaws (and I say that not in a dissing myself way but more I recognize it know I need to work on it but it still controls more than I like who I am and how I react) but I doubt myself… big time… like I can not possibly ever be in a relationship again because I am not good enough and no one would ever want me type self doubt… I do not trust my self really… it is more but now I am dangerously approaching the self pity, self dissing, self loathing point and trying hard not to sink there… I can sink there later, plenty of time for that

But have this phone conference tomorrow plus my fricking ass braces messed up again – this time a lower wire slipped and is enjoying digging into my gum… so I managed to get an emergency appointment tomorrow afternoon

This is good as Tuesday I have to go to Miami for a conference and would not be happy being in a different state with messed up braces. Why again did I decide at this age and juncture of my life to do this? Oh yeah because I wanted to do something different and as I am going through a lot of changes the last two years I decided to do the teeth thing too – lol

This weekend promises to be full of work… maybe I can slip out tomorrow night and find some music somewhere. No plans for Halloween – too busy…

Found out I really do need to try and figure out how to take these graduate classes at Rowen University which is an hour plus drive one way and money and time and why am I doing this? Oh yeah because my boss told me my job is going away but the school wants to keep me and is trying to figure out how to do that so get these certifications and maybe you will not end up collecting unemployment…

I know I should not get into the future what if mode, but I am still so off from that meeting… I need to make some friends or join a club ro something to actually do something beside hanging around thinking of stuff like this… actually it would be nice to have some people around in this area I actually could talk to and hang with. If I could just find some people to drag to concerts – that would be a start – lol

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Friday, October 21, 2005

Reminded of Natural Order of Things

Evolution – Change Through Time

Argue if you will about certain points regarding evolution – the major concept is sound – things change over time – regardless of how hard they try and fight this natural order…

I was sitting outside the Catholic school waiting to teach my workshop this morning. Just sitting in the car looking at the side of the building, the rainy clouds about to spill and collecting my thoughts to prepare for the workshop. There was this dead sparrow on the sidewalk in front of the building near my car… I really ha barely noticed it, pretty much ignored it.

As I thought over the topic (teaching them the basics of web design) a big, big black crow swoops down and I watch it pick up the sparrow to take it away. It juggled with the smaller bird a few moments before getting a good angle with its beak, other crows suddenly appeared watching the process (much like seagulls flock when someone throws fries out the window at the local by the shore McDonalds).

Even from death there is life – and all seems to contribute to the natural order – change happens whether you plan or not.

Aftye the very long workshop (the web page is messed up must redo file management system and get things straightened out but the sisters and teachers were great and I will do it even though I am not supposed to)

Not supposed to... see that goes to the other thing that happened today and the whole change thing...

I raced back through the rain (very methaphorical – rainy heavy day for what happened) to the high school campus for a meeting with boss. As I mentioned earlier she had been talking to the Super and thinking about future...

Well not to go into all details, because details are in short demand at this point (which makes for an upset tummy, mind and life...)

Start of conversation

Well the center you work for (ETTC) probably will only be around a very short time and will eventually go away (translated your job is going away)


But we want to keep you in the school you are a good worker


What do you see yourself doing


kinda – I have a hard time being forceful and saying this is what I want. I hem and haw and say I like kinda what I do – technology – working with teachers – helping students in class – curriculum – helping teachers prep curriculum and lessons – but I don’t know how that translates to the future (you just said my job is going away and I like my job, sometimes, I do too much but other than that...)

But we were thinking of making you a Supervisor of Curriculum, Technology and such – you could do many of the same things

Good and wow – that is what my boss is plus Asst. Super... wow

And then after I am happy they still want to keep me around reality – this is BAD

See you need a supervisor's certificate to have that title

A Supervisor's certificate requires 12 Master level credits, taking some exams and (the big kicker) three years teaching in a field you hold a K-12 certificate in

I have taught community college for a bit and taught on and off in HS but the certification process and teaching in that area never meshed because of the weird walk I did – so I do not have the certificate or three years teaching

So I can not at this point get that certificate – major Bad

But some good (and bad)

She says I gave her more to think about and more ideas to follow (good she still is trying to get me set before she retires)

She wants me to start to take those classes (kinda bad – where am I getting money and time to take graduate courses especially when all the graduate schools are further up North – oh man) But she said I should still get those courses out of way while I wait for teacher certification

Which is another bad/good -I did apply for another teacher certification and waiting for paperwork to clear – if it does cool but then must figure out how to get the three years teaching...

So realistically – my job, as always is tenuous – bad

My boss is working to find a way to keep me in the school as she feels as does super I am an asset to the school – good

Right now the main way to keep me around means more time, money and may not be obtainable anyway....... bad

And above all it means within the next while –CHANGE – maybes major change for me - heaped upon all the changes that have occurred in the last couple years of my life....


Thursday, October 20, 2005

Hunter and Tracker - Chapter 1

Throwing the keys on the counter Jaden ripped her jacket off and threw it at the nearest piece of furniture. She closed her eyes a minute just listening to the sounds from the apartment hoping she wasn't alone again for the night.

Sighing she opened her eyes just as a shadow streaked across the counter tearing into her keys. Thrusting her hands out in reflex, Jaden screamed and jumped back, tripping on her jacket which had slid off the vinyl chair.

Breathing hard, unable to hear anything but her beating heart, she looked up and after a moment began laughing. "Shit Mr FancyPants. What the hell are you doing? Taking a page from Sheri's book I see." She shifted on the floor stretching her legs out actually glad to be resting.

She'd been unable to even get a seat on the bus, ridership had been up as had the gas prices making it tougher to find a resting spot for her 44 minute commute one way to and from her job.

Wiggling her legs around she looked at the apartment her eyes traveling from object to object finally coming to rest on the calico tabby looking down at her from the counter. "Guess Sheri did not feed you, or you are playing me." Laughing a little she pushed off the floor and stood by the counter running a hand over the cat's back.

Going through oft practiced motions, Jaden fed the cat while also rooting through the cupboards trying to decide what to fix them for dinner. She halted her search her eyes finding the note taped to the fridge. She frowned and just stood there as she reread the note.

"Well, looks like I've been stood up again." She declared and opened the fridge finding the wrapped plate of food that had been left for her. She took it out and put it in the microwave typing in the time.

She turned to move towards the bedroom, her hand gliding slowly over the faux marble countertop as she walked. Another night alone, another job to create a distance. She stooped by her backpack she'd placed on teh floor and took out her cell before heading back to change out of her work clothes.

Slipping her shoes off, she hit the shortcut for sheri and listened to the phone as she started struggling out of her shirt. As it continued to ring she started pulling the shirt over her head with out unbuttoning it. With her head stuck, she started fiddling with finding a button just as she heard a familiar voice. "Hello?"

"MFGSHTFUBCK..." Jaden called into the phone through her shirt as she struggled with it.

"Hello?" there was a pause and then a sweet laughter as the caller had identified the number. "So it seems I have a prank caller. You know I am tracing this number and calling the authorities even as we speak."

"HAHA," she mumbled. Exasperated she heaved on the cloth and heard it rip and then a metallic ping as the button went flying hitting the lamp across the room.

More laughter rang out through the connection. "Why do I get the feeling something just fell victim to the Great Patience of a Ms. Jaden Softenhire?"

"Because you get feelings about every thing," Jaden gasped finally free of the clothing.

"True, and I am getting the feeling the exasperation I am hearing actually started before the phone call?" Sherri hesitated knowing she had disappointed Jaden by having to stay in the city and work an extra shift.

"Yeah, sorry, was just hoping for a friendly face." Jaden replied softly picking up the destroyed shirt and tossing it at the hamper. She watched the shirt hit the side and fall to the floor beside the bin.

"Make sure that gets into the hamper," the voice said over the phone followed by laughter as Jaden started to splutter an excuse.

"And friendly faces, I am sure Mr. FancyPants greeted you."

"Yes, yes he did."

"Damn I missed a screaming Jaden didn't I?"

The woman paused loving how Sherri always knew... well that was her talent and why she was called into work so often. Jaden shook her head at that thought. The characteristic she loved so much was also one that she was learning to hate. Or at least be insanely jealous of, not jealous to possess but jealous Sherri used it with others.

"And now I am missing the melancholy, deep in thought Jaden." A sigh floated through the connection startling Jaden from her thoughts.

"Thank you for dinner."

"My pleasure, I thought about you the entire time I made it."

"You were cooking naked again weren't you," Jaden teased as she unzipped her pants and began taking them off.

"I plead the Fifth."

"Do, do you think this will be more than one day?" She sat on the bed and began wiggling out of her pants.

There was a long pause, so long Jaden finished removing her pants and had crossed to get a pair of sweats and a t-shirt when the voice finally began speaking.

"Actually, I know it will and I need you to pack a bag. When I get off I'll pick you up. I want to spend the weekend at Hannies. Some things have come up here Jaden." The voice trailed off leaving a very confused and suddenly nervous Jaden looking at the phone.

~Oh god she's leaving, they've promoted her or enhanced her again or...~ A rough voice cut across her thoughts.

"No I'm not leaving you, never again." There was silence as Jaden fell heavily on the bed. The release of her fear and tension leaving her body weak for a moment. "We just, the future is changing and I want to make sure you are happy."

Jaden bit her lip not sure if that statement was a good thing or a bad thing.

"It's a good thing, we'll talk more when we get to Hannie's. It's been too long since we were there. And I do still owe you for saving..."

It was Jaden's turn to cut her off, "No you don't. I'll pack and be ready. I'm guessing my work has already been called?"

"Things are all set. I'll see you tomorrow then. I miss you."

The clothes forgotten, Jaden stared at the floor as she nodded at the words biting her lip harder to keep from crying like an idiot.

"It's okay to cry, I kinda have been too."

Jaden felt her mouth fall open at these words, Sherri never cried, she was the strong one, the one who held them together. The one who managed to make things alright even when really they weren't alright. Had not been since that night...

She vaguely wondered if what had happened that night was the reason for this. Blank checks had a way of being cashed in the end. No one ever forgot about a blank check.

"Yes, it is... but we'll talk. And don't be scared, well not too much. We both mean too much to them and to each other."

Jaden felt her brows draw down, "We?"

"Yeah kiddo, we... I'm sorry. We'll talk and... and survive. Enjoy the meal and sleep, get a good rest. And wait for me, I'll be there before you know it." She hung up then as she'd heard her manager coming in with the night's list.

Jaden sighed and this time did cry a little. Putting her clothes on she moved to the kitchen to eat. She'd pack in the morning, for now she'd do as Sherri had suggested and eat and rest. She had a bad feeling that it might be awhile before things would seem normal again.

Not that they were normal now, but as long as Sherri was there. Funny at first she'd hated the woman and now... now she'd go and eat and rest and get reay for tomorrow.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Tired, Blah but a little fun and color

Feeling down, blech, unmotivated too busy and depressed about things I should kick myself in the butt and stop being so focused on but it does not change where I am. But trying to keep some silliness in the scheme...I participated in hat day today.

It is spirit week here at the school and staff and teachers can (although many do not) participate as well... So for today, I wore my hat. My very dorky, doofy, silly, purple, fuzzy, pimp bought at a dollar store hat. Yes that is me below - I look so crappy on camera but eh... the hat looks spectacular and most stylin' (ok not really but hey I made people laugh and had people admit every time they looked at me and tried to focus on work they just couldn't - lmao

Monday, October 17, 2005

What a weird day – what is coming next????

Well a lot of odd things happened today to add up to leaving me in the perplexed ala WTF ala "okay what is going on here regarding cosmic fate dealing my hand" column.

First – I stopped by this morning on my way to work at me ex's to pick up a few things and he finally tells me why he has been feeling sick and off and such. He is fighting depression again – he'd had problems and gone on medication before… well unfortunately things are getting to him again (he won’t tell me much more…) but he was physically sick last night and a few other times and also very tired and such…. He was not sounding too good this morning and was talking about going again to the doctor's today to try and work out what to do next (regarding medicine and other treatments).

I can get that – we've been separated almost 2 years and in fact the divorce is in the final steps…(not going to talk about that any more right now because of what he said in the divorce and all that – October and November are depressing hard months as it is for me without this too – god I hope it is done soon).

But so he tells me that

Second - trying to organize 101 meetings and this week is backed up with lots of training – I have 2 to five workshops with teachers everyday (some the high school teachers, some other teachers and then on Friday we are going to one of the catholic schools to teach web design). But so I am trying to coordinate meetings and stop by to talk to my boss. We manage to get a few things settled then two things happen… one because some of the things I had to take care of was scheduling conference meetings which I was having problems doing, it kinda came out and was time I told her I was going through a divorce (so far I have only told a few people – gossip is bad at the school and I just hate talking about it)… well she tells me she knows I am divorcing.

I say nothing profoundly nonplused and she smiles and says no one told her, she just could tell. This makes sense actually – she is the affirmative action officer, has done lots of counseling work with divorcees and abused women and other causes (in act just last week she is helping another person at work who is having very bad problems with her ex – she even had to file a sexual harassment restraining order and there is an 8 year old involved and just… I feel very lucky things are as good as they are with my ex but…) Here my boss knew prolly for awhile that I was but never approached me – she let me come to her and then asked how she could help –

boss lady you are one helluva classy lady…….

Also she ended that session by saying she'd been meeting with the Superintendent (she is getting ready to retire – damnit – I like working for her) and she said they were talking about me and asked me what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go – again I am flabbergasted (yikes the Super and ASST. super (my boss) talking about my future… so she says let's schedule a meeting on Friday at 1:30 to talk about things… I stammer – hey I want to keep working here and then I go real dorf/dork and say I am like silly Putty and am very flexible and okay I need to keep my mouth shut and not act like the dorf/goof I am – lol

Of course now I can not sleep until Friday and I am nervous as all get out and wondering what I should say……

OK then number three (and maybe this one earned me some good karma points) – I am teaching one of my workshops and in comes the Cosmetology teacher… I say I am teaching can you come back and she is like this is important… she tells me a student hit my car…..oooooookkkkkk

So I pardon myself from the teaching and we go out – there is a cop there and the poor nervous student and so I go and look.

First I have a 5 almost 6 year old Saturn SL2 that has almost 160000 miles on it and I want it to die…. It has stickers on the back windows (reminders five year olds have inhabited my back seat) and other spots and worn edges. The hood looks like a silver polka dot adventure as the paint had peeling spots starting to rust so I get what is supposed to be the right color and dab it all over and it dries and covers the spots but it is a lighter silver… plus it has others worn areas and such

Well I look and I now have a brown and black racing stripe down the one side, but that is it (apparently trying to park next to me the student did not cut the corner right and scrapola). Now the thing is Saturn's are plastic – lmao – yes the main body is plastic stuff not metal, so instead of denting – it pops back out – hehe so I have no dent just a nice cool racing stripe.

Well I go back and start giving the police officer the insurance and stuff, he is sitting in his car and I lean in and ask him – listen if I am not planning on calling insurance and don’t want to make a claim or anything, do we have to report this.

See in NJ if anything happens, regardless of fault – your insurance goes up – any activity means you both pay. So One I'd be paying more – then I have a deductible and such so I'd end up paying anyway… and why paint this car that is falling apart now (plus I live in the land of seagulls, salt area and going into nasty winter which means salted roads). Not only that the damage is nil and even the student's car is ok and the student is freaking and what will her dad do…. So I ask

The cop smiles still takes my name and number but hands back stuff and says you know this never happened – the student and teacher breath a huge sigh of relief and I am glad because trying to get my car painted also would have meant no car and trying to find time in busy schedule to call and all that shit… so I made the student's day and hopefully as I said got karma points

So this has been a bit of a weird day and I almost shudder to think what comes next as this day still is not over…. I need some good distractions or something…. :-P

Very good concert

So went to Philly Sunday night. South street on a Sunday was cool. Not as crowded but fun to watch people and such. And found this one place that sells some drink called The Gremlin and they were out (I was getting a diet coke) but people kept coming up asking for it and groaning that it was out. I think it is a fruit juice type thing. Also a guy from work suggested I go to the Pontiac Grill for the music… they had a great list for tonight but I had tickets to go to the TLA (Theater of Living Arts)

Wow – went to a pretty good concert!

First saw Mark Pond PA. I had not heard of them before but listening to their CD even as I type :) I enjoyed their sound. There were three guitarists, drummer and someone playing a cello. I will definitely keep an eye/ear out for them and see them again. I found their lyrics really good… the lead vocalist/guitarist had five different guitars and kept switching between them making for a lot of variation in the songs and sound.

Then came Liz Phair and she was great. She started with just her and acoustic guitar and took some requests including singing the Black market White Baby Broker song (lol) – in fact many of her songs were very unique – good :-D

She had a lot of energy, moved around, kept switching out guitars and such (she even played the keyboard for one song). I'd see her again.

The venue – TLA – is one of my favorites – I got a stool this time but it is a great place because the stage is high and the floor is sloping so the back is higher – I stood in the back for the encore and was able to see. Plus it is one if I had an iron bladder it is very easy to get up next to stage. And the bathroom had the TLA smell – not urine, not other human odors per se… just a bad funky ass smell that makes you go WTF is that and people have contests to try and guess (no one to this day has been able to identify the exact combination - lmao

Also found a new place to park which was cheaper and easier… so one of the major ass pains about going to this venue was better (it is a bummer driving so far but hey the shows are good and cheap :^P

For Liz Phair they had the fog machine going – first time I had seen that used in there. Considering they allow smoking it gets pretty smoky anyway – although this show was not as bad as some I have been to.

Again as usual I noticed mainly couples (the show was skewed to older 20 somethings and up) and groups, even solo people seemed to be in groups (meaning a lot of threesomes were you could tell a couple and a friend). I really gotta find someone as dorky as I am to drag along to stuff….. I think I am one of the few who dares go alone to a lot of these things – if you are a concert soloist – good for you…. And may you soon not be a soloist… unless you prefer that… I kinda am half and half….

Having some one means not worrying about losing place when you gotta go to bathroom, or wanna get something to drink or check the merchandise table… but having someone means they see me dancing like a silly goof and considering I can not dance (but love to – so I do anyhoo – so there - lol

Friday, October 14, 2005

Zombie Making and Those "Oops Please Let no one be watching" moments

Ok justa couple things now - more laters. Too busy at work - I must erase the word sucker from my forehead and learn that word... you know - NO

Course I really need a job and saying no in a contract negotiation period is prolly the kiss of death - especially since my position is year to year and not protected by tenure like other teachers... even the blessed union I pay a ton o money to can not really protect my job because I do a million and one things it is so easy to rift my position and bring in someone else under a different title and just redistribute my tasks (only thing about seriously having at least a good 30 projects I oversee at any one time... makes me a very valuable asset to the place - hence my wish to say no here and never passing my lips at work)

But one of those tasks I was just given - we have these programs using this online curriculum and my boss wants a paper copy of everything (lesson plans, powerpoint shows, student worksheets, excel files and such - there are all types of files). Well this involves going to each lesson online (nothing like having it in one place and pushing one button - oh no...) I go to each lesson and the materials section and they have the lesson plan as one file, the worksheets and all other things. So at least I do not have to print every page - I can save the target and then print the files.

But we are talking mind-numbing boring tedium. I have 12 courses for the first program (three total programs). The first course has 7 units (each unit has 7 - 20 lessons per unit)... to print the first two units I have gone through over a ream and a half of paper and have about 750 sheets and about easily saving 2 - 5 files per lesson..... get the picture of how much work I have to go through... so it is like do some of the other million tasks then come and sit and click and print click and save go to next lesson......

As title says - wonderful way to make a Zombie - who needs George Romero - lol

And a funny oops related to this task - I have a laser printer hooked directly to the little computer in the corner I am using to dedicate the printer and computer to the zombie printing task - well the tech guy brought in like a lotta toners cause I told him I would be going through a lot. So the black runs out and he is here so he is going to show me the first time how to change them out. So he is prepping it and takes out the tag and is talking and tilts it and focused on the printer not the cartridge and I gasp and he goes "What oh whoa" the toner had started spilling out the end all over as he tipped it the wrong way...

So we now have toner on the printer, on the table on my papers telling me what I had done so far... I am wearing a white top (Murphy's law strikes again) - lol

So now I look like a Jersey spotted B&W Cow (this is turning into long work day) but hey we have toner in the printer and I know how not to tip it.

And the techie is like "Tell no one you saw that or I bring you down with me." We were laughing our butts off at two techie people spilling toner all over and trying to clean up before his boss or another teacher or someone comes in - haha (of course the impromptu air can war we started detracted and delayed the clean up - we are such goofs - I should be more mature... ah well something to think about for another day... um wait, why be mature when I am having fun.... anyhoos

The oops you hope no one sees of life.......... creating those wonderful blush-o-ramas and then some (and I blush a lot and very easily and on my pale skin it stands out all nice...sigh - which those people I know take advantage of and insist on continually competing to see who can make me blush first and how much... of course I am a spacey blonde and ramble and do not catch the double meaning of what I and others say as fast as many so I end up shooting myself in the foot quite often and actually helping and aiding in the blush event... double sigh, triple even) -

but anyhoos some fun in the day too!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Blogs gaining or Losing Ground?

So based on the tidbit in article, does this mean I and my blog might become an offical source (if Yahoo says it is so than hey it must be... wow is it me or is the sarcasm thick in here??? :-P ) - Media person Julie at your service - lol

I think my rambling sense would actually make more sense than many media reports (just teasing)

Friday, October 07, 2005

Life's Little Laughs

Sometimes it is the little things that make it all worthwhile (trust me – I am a little thing – I know this topic well - lol)

I decided tonight would be Scream Trilogy night (I really should buy those movies – man Neve Campbell looking very fine – wahhoo and the movies themselves are good and funny) But anyhoo - I stop in movie store and looking around and I hear as I come up "Is it okay to bring… in here."

Okay that's a little odd, then I see why the front counter clerks are starting to smirk. One of the shoobies (tourists) had a little dog on a leash.

The clerks shrug and say ok. Now while I am checking out the clerks and I keep trying not to laugh and every time we look at each other we start to giggle. This is because we can hear.

"Muffy, no get out of there."

"Muffy stop that right now."

"Muffy, no" [crash]

"Muffy come back here right now" (that is when the dog suddenly appeared and went behind the counter).

That is also when the three of us up front almost totally lost it.

So Muffy where ever you are – thanks for the shared laugh, I needed that. Sometimes giggling for the hell of it is just a good time.

Now if I could just find someone to share those giggles and odd quirks of mine with I'd be set and really happy :-D

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Bad Bad Wednesday and Thursday Shaping Up to be pretty shitty too

Well – it's official I really hate pain and I am sissy dweeb and ended up between Yesterday and now crying a number of times – geez I feel like a lame-o – no wonder my ex did not stay around and no one hangs around now.

But anyway Wed. started with what I am now convinced is worse than the Chinese Water Torure -"Slenderizing" at least that is what they called it.

I started bright and early in the morning going to orthodontists and they decided to start this slenderizing process. Now I had that done once before and it was bad but eh… however this time. They take these strips of metal sandpaper – seriously they look like a Ph strip but are longer. Then they go in and start sanding down/sawing the teeth – it makes gaps between the teeth.

This process hurts for a lotta reasons – first my teeth are major sensitive - last dental cleaning I had to get her to stop once actually and made pretense of wiping face and rinsing mouth to catch my self and not say fuck it stop right now – I am a wuss :-( J

Reason I have not done a tattoo – I actually would like one – a couple actually – I have this odd mythology/book thing I want to do because I love books and reading and all that… eh if I can survive these two days maybe…. Birthday is near Christmas… and going to visit sisters… maybe..

Anyhoo so when sawing the actually act hurts, plus putting the pressure on the tooth to get the strip in then sawing and of course nothing against the orthodontist person – she is great and my favorite and does wire cuts better than anyone else in the office – but sometimes you slip down and of course the tech is in to the groove and often takes awaile to realize hey you are swing gum not tooth.

But it was like getting bad and then I felt it crap F*-it all... the tear started sliding down from my eye… she actually got a call at that point (it is kinda embarrassing to be a grown adult in a chair getting all stupid over a little pain). And I managed to catch myself and make it through.

So now between that and the tightening my mouth is in nice pain the day.

Then the pain continues – lol

I had to take T up to Children's hospital for Spina Bifida clinic. We get there at 1 and sit in the little room we are assigned to for over 2 hours before someone pops in – then it takes another 2 hours for the doctors to rotate through – again I felt like a wuss inside because doctors are soooo important – kinda the most important people on the planet in one way cause they can do something I can not – make people better…. Doctors are great – I just hate going to doctors – sorry

Well I stopped at a chain restaurant on the way home and decided hmm the grilled Tilapia looks good plus and easy to chew plus I snarked the Mexican rice off my ex's plate (whom I met to discuss the doctor stuff and the fact we still do not have T cleaned out right and must adjust her program again)

Well about 10 – 11pm it started - the next round of pain

It started with nausea and moved to your basic puking. About 1am as I lay in the bathroom (I stopped going back to my bed because I'd get there and start again) the next stage starts.

If you have ever had true deep food poisoning or a major stomach virus - you know about stages two and three. We are talking not simple puking – this is the puking where you feel nauseous and stand there and then your entire lower gut contracts (we are not emptying the stomach anymore – oh no we have moved onto the next part of the digestive tract) and keeps contracting and keeps… well you are deep heaving/puking and your entire body begins to have muscle issues.

Plus around 3 or so the fever started so I am now lying on the floor shivering between sessions. Well the deep stuff kept up until about an hour or so ago and now I have faded to fever, my body aches bad – like when you exercise and do situps and the muscles hurt bad next day… plus still a little peckish in the tummy

Of course the wuss part came in during the deep puking - I gotta admit the Exorcist made puking look like a carnival ride – lol – so yes, I was a pain wuss during some of the deep stuff and ended up shedding my 'I am a grown adult' image for the wonderful world of adding hopeless crying to the mix – and BTW nasty image for the day – do not read if you are feeling puckish – Mexican rice and fish and what's left after some digestion is the perfect F*ing size to get caught in braces and very ahrd to get out when in middle of anything going in gets projected out :-P nasty

So to top it off – I had this major workshop presentation tomorrow and I had ticket tonight for a concert – which sucks on both fronts :-/ But I am feeling a little better…. So perhaps I can finish the day with something good – like, um, well I'll try to find something to cheer up.

See ending my pain rant on a good note – just need to find the good note so maybes Thursday ends up on a good note – I know I could get a tat… lol

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

I'm an Aunt (again)

My sister had her baby this morning - I now have

one sister = three nephews
next sister = one niece and three nephews
and the one that just had the baby = 1 niece and now 2 nephews

Whew - just spreading out like... must be something in that Tucson water :-P

Life Changes – what a bitch

Listening to music like Float On by Modest Mouse, Honey and the Moon by Joseph Arthur, And a Day by Ari Scott, Almost by Bowling for Soup, Collide by Howie Day, Genius by The Murmurs and Falling For You by Jem and IKnew I Loved You by Savage Garden (which has so many ways it could be interpreted), hmm wonder if there is a pattern in there somewheres LOl – actually there's not – there's a I wish pattern in there – haha – eh some day someone will pop up when I least expect it (ok, waiting for someone to pop up, anytime now, impatiently tapping foot, wellllll come on already :-P

Well found out today a couple more teachers are leaving the school, and a few more put in job apps and a few more are looking. A major bummer as besides work (which actually I talk to people but I do not really do stuff with people from work or anything – too busy – lol), my sisters three quarters of the way across the continent, my ex, the few online friends and a couple of people around here I know, I have no other contacts. Basically I go to work, do stuff, come home and do stuff and then if I do go out it is 90% of the time on my own… I need to join a club or something find some people to bug :-P

A cool club would be to find people as nutty as I am about music and such and then go to concerts and stuff together – like a book or movie or play club…. Good idea, too much an introvert to figure out how to make it happen – know if it was bowling – I could rent Grease 2 and go crazy – hehe and hey anything with music in it is not all bad…. I mean it… maybes mostly bad (wince and insert your own bad movie/music experience here – lol)

But yeah the few teachers and people at work I actually talk to about stuff other than work and for more than two seconds in the hallways are leaving or planning on leaving… and yet here I am still in the little armpit of New Jersey (hehe, I love Anthropomorphism – I know it is not a great writing technique per se but who the F*ck cares if I wanna give human-like traits to inanimate objects, I am gonna gall darnit and hmm been getting that f care mood more and more lately....)

I also love inventing words – Crankswirl (as developed by I and another) is one of my favorites - (yes I was an idget and actually entered in a source – so see it is now OFFICAL (so booms the loud menacing voice).

Did a little Halloween decorating today will do more laters. Not sure if I'll worry about a costume – so far no reason to other than if people come visiting the house. Plus I leave the next day for a conference in Miami so prolly more focused on that.

Pulling my hair out over this course I am working on – it is web design and Internet research. I will be teaching it online for high school students in January. So I am taking a course through the same place to learn how to modify the course – a helluva lot of reading, thinking about the reading, posting on the reading, reading other classmate's comments as well as tearing apart the old course and revising it to get it ready – whew-whee and Hee-haw and blech.

My earth science class (I am teaching for the community college) is going along – put up the first test for this week – will see how the students do.

And hey we raised over 2000.00 through our Katrina fund drive – that was very good and awesome. Of course still lots to do with that – get the check off to the national organization so they can get it to the schools, generate thank you letters to everyone, and a bahzillion other little details… and there is much more going on but not going to think about it too much more – trying to post a scene (for an RPG) with another person and that is much more fun and I like to write and post, keeps me sane (well some would say that is a loss cause…:-D – But eh, I go do that