Mel Brooks Had It Right - Life Stinks

Well sometimes life is disgustingly ironic – I decide to try a little and let go of something… not that I am letting go letting go – as my sister who is the wisest person I know in this topic said – you will never ever stop thinking about her or loving her, it'll just get to a much better, easier place. Plus as I realized, it has been so long now that if something happened to make the person pop back up, I'd feel awkward as shit and most likely things would have changed so much for this person that… well… things would not be the same anyway (meaning on my end cause on the other end they never knew… which I think is just as well) and I'd never say anything and find well life moves on - crazy as that is... my memories, fantasies and happies from before are what I have and I get that… but so there was someone else interested in me and while I was telling them this other person still for some shitty reason I still can not totally fathom (my brain is screwed up I swear it is, not joking) holds my thoughts and heart –(I know it is more how I felt being around Will and how I wanted to make them feel and the qualities – which is a big step because I know now what it is I found and fell in love with so there is hope I'll find it again… yeah sure right buncha shit but I have my memories and I will always hold that person in a high place)... well the thing was in an attempt to move on from my ex and from this other person I was thinking maybes about someone else – again nothing serious, can’t do that as explained up in earlier part of this passage – and I thought that was an ok place to start kinda dating, not rally but well thinking about it and such.... (as said I know what I liked and what I am holding onto regarding john and will) well this person kinda told me (and I have not been able to call back and really talk to her yet because she had her niece over and was still trying to get her to sleep) well… turns out this person is not doing so well health wise and so finally told me tonight - well kinda told me some no details yet like I said I do not have the full story still waiting to talk to them… that is how she prefaced telling me - askign if I would run away now.... seems people always abandon her in past when she has gotten sick before we had talked about that some too - istn't that a fuck... you are down and peoples go away - people are assholes, complete and utter total assholes ... ok no they are not, sometimes it is hard to go through this type of sitch, I know I have done it before and WHEE and shit looks like I will do it again :-( I should have just stayed true to Will and fuck anything else just fuck it all