I'll start with, so far, the mother of all my hinge points in a way (again see my way earlier posts for my definition of a hinge point), a year so long ago (although this last year March 2004 – March 2005 is definitely another hinge point, more on that in another entry, if I remember – lol)
January – I started Graduate school at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia. Note to this – I had not been away from home before that except for the summer before for 6 weeks to geology field camp (isolated in the mountains no interaction save the others in the camp) and the summer before that as an intern at Smithsonian Institute in DC for two months (two other hinge points in my life again more on those later). Basically I had lived at home all through undergrad and we had no car growing up so we did not get to go places and living on welfare means we did not have money for trips.) So why hinge point?
I had never been to Philadelphia before in my life – totally fucking true. I had two summers before met the professor from U of Penn willing to accept me and be my advisor, he got me in, got me a teaching grad student position and helped me register, I never visited Philly once. I had no idea what I was doing except I had 300 dollars (all we could spare from the family) three bags and an address for the Grad Towers in Philly and my plane ticket. I got off the plane on a Saturday – took only my third cab ride in my life to the addy I gave the cabbie hoping to god I would get there. Managed to get registered ok as no hitch in my room, rode the elevator to the fifth floor, got into the apartment (no roommate yet they were coming later) and then sat staring out my window realizing I was over 2000 miles from home and starting something big – working on my well at that time PhD (more on that down further in the timeline) – basically I took a chance… big one
March - I met John – my future husband and now Ex - we split last March but were together for a long time – also I had never dated before (no joke – I lead a sheltered life in undergrad and never made out, went out, nothing) – so that was new and incredible and explains a lot about me – married the first person I dated….. (of course I am now thrust back out into the world of no one in my life at that level)
Summer – lost my virginity, worked up at the Smithsonian again and really explored myself, Philadelphia and lots of things - would be last time I saw my mother alive - I never said goodbye to her - her brain was affected soon after and she was never really lucid much again
October – finally lost god – had been raised with some religion in the house most of life (that is a whole other topic in and of itself) but had been Episcopalian for the last 6 or so years… even taught Sunday school – but things started happening my senior year of undergrad and continued in this year and basically this is when I switched to being an atheist. Attended my last major church service
November – I will state right now for the record – I hate November – for so many reasons – it is just a bad month – still, to this day hate it – but here is some of what happened this particular November…
Beginning part presented PhD idea for review so I could proceed with getting my degree. Got told by a chauvinist prig of a professor basically women had no place in science especially geology especially in this department and he and another would never okay my project as a PhD so I basically backed down, did not fight and agreed to get my Masters and get out
Thanksgiving – my mother died - after fighting cancer and so many other mental and health problems….
December – I and my next oldest sister officially made guardians of two youngest sisters both under 18 and now with no father or mother. I make a choice and in January left to go back to school – left those three back in AZ – abandoned my family because I wanted to finish school and had a relationship with John – my sisters ended up going through a lotta shit the next year and I know without a doubt I could have changed their lives if I had stayed or at least brought the youngest with me back to Philly. I made a bad choice because I was selfish and wanted to finish…. Weird how the end of one of my hinge points is a hinge point for others….
Other major things happened during that year too, but that is just an example of a hinge point in my life
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment