You Know, November Just stinks

Same ole song just a different day :-D

Yes I do not like November. It is not the month per se but that shit always happens in this time of the year and no matter how hard I try to stay chipper, reminders pop up that pull me down. So I end up like an idiotic feeling off, crappy, blue, crying about stuff that gets me down or sitting on the couch staring at nothing and thinking about everything

My mom died on Thanksgiving
I got told I could not earn my PhD and should be happy I was "allowed" to get my Masters
Divorce will be final reminding me how alone I really am
I lost one of my best friends (considering I had just three and lost two (ok I admit more than best friend I was in love with her – you know I have loved two people and hey they both went away and left me – sigh and I really do not have that many friends as it is)
And there are other things that have occurred in this month

All lead to making it very easy to pull up the chair to the pity party table. Which of course something happened to day to get me thinking and whirling and to prompt the mood I am in currently and thus employing to set the tone of this blog – yeah I'm rambling about being depressed, blech and blook and all that arrrrggggg

I do have good things and I do laugh in between

I have a job (albeit I am working a little too much and doing too many things)
I do still have my bestest, closest friend – my sister Kathy (although she is wayyyy out in AZ and I am wayyyyyy out in NJ)
And yes I have my other two sisters two (when they are not doing things to make me consider again the advantages to be an only child)
I have shelter, food, concert ticket fun for the future
T is always around
I get to post and write sometimes if people are around

I like doing the silliest shit and being goofy and dorky and immature and doing things others would not do or consider stupid
I like making people laugh and that in turn makes me feel good when I make someone else feel good – yes I get self gratification off of other people's happiness


So there is good… I just wish I didn’t feel the emptiness of the house sometimes – or going out to have fun note all the couples and groups

I'll be okay laters – I'll figure out a way to make myself laugh… just is nice sometimes if you have someone else around to take a turn at making you laugh.

Plus I would stop bugging Kathy so much (my sister begs all you available people out there to consider going to a concert with me or something so I am not pestering her so much – lol – you are awesome KATHY – You rock :-D

Okay – going to go work on work stuff (have virtual class to check into and do assignments, gotta grade labs and tests, check in on some curriculum and not think about future as boss reviewed the future plans of the school as it is being remodeled and a lot added and our current room and center were not on the plan :-/ if I am in depressed mood – well shit there goes that – if in chipper mood – hey I will be getting a new office and new work duties – lol

Alright I wanna do a road trip or something and of course concert/music is always a good thing – anyone wanna join in the fun?