525,600 – how do you measure your self?

Getting through – kinda, sorta, hey look another day gone – um yay or maybe boo and drat perhaps it will be I don’t know or perhaps some of the I don’t care….. what response will I find coming from my lips today????


Mom – Bobbie Jo's playing in the turkey… gawd I miss you so much mom – funny how this holiday that is about family and thanks and being together is when you decided to check out – I keep telling myself and listening to others that say it'll get better and in a way yeah, it does and in another way – still feels as raw today as it did those years ago when you left

I saw Rent on Thanksgiving (combined with my 4 mile walk along the Atlantic city boardwalk that was my holiday… decided even to pas really on the eating bit – just had some simple crackers and cheese and such – simple but worked… a mantra that gets a lot of people through the day). But back to the movie - luckily there were only a handful of people in the theater and everyone in front. I think I cried every other scene and song –

yes fine – I am an emotion feeling person and I get emotional over a lot of stuff (if you ever go with me to plays, movies, etc… be prepared I do sometimes get into the "scene/situation" :-P I think that is why sometimes things are "hard" for me (yes I put it in quotes cause when I read things like Stone Butch Blues or listen to the news or such I realize my definition of hard is not really the same as others…. Which then I feel guilty for feeling bad which leads to feeling bad and okay fine I am just going to laugh at myself now as I get the image of a dog chasing her own tail in an endless loop :-D

But I think that's why I wish I had some people around (friends, relationships, whatever)… and mope about that as much as I do I just like to feel and listen to others and have someone to bounce ideas off and share experiences and drag along on adventures as I can only dare to do so many things alone and all that…

Shit – the song Seasons of Love from Rent always gets me – especially since so many of those minutes this last year have been so hard to get through – and so many have found me laughing my way through them – ah the ups and downs of life.

I want to go see the movie again.

525,600 – that's a lot of……. Sighing (is that an okay compromise – not too down but not lying about being too cheery – my cup is at the half mark – alright – not half full or empty just half…. That allowed?)

(BTW see the lyrics for the Seasons of Love song at the bottom of this entry if you do not know what that number refers to)


Ventured out early this morning (Black Friday) – didn’t pick up too much but enjoyed watching others shop and go crazy -I did not witness too many fights – but heard on radio that at least four different fights broke out at the local shopping Mecca's during the Black Friday madness.

I found the line elf at Old Navy to be mildly entertaining (as we waited forever in line – but hey got my cool zipper pullovers) as he would say whoever holds up such and such gets a goodie. So people were searching through their pockets and purses for things like movie stubs and student IDs and assorted wacky crap.

I also found as I shopped and moved around people kept talking to me – dunno why although I do enjoy hearing people's stories and listening to people talk – but I got a lot of stories and people passing the time – from in-line stories, to which object should they buy, to being dragged out, to a running commentary on the other shoppers (oh shit that was funny, this woman behind me in the arts and crafts story was critiquing what other people were buying and then started guessing what they were planning on making – when she got to deciding one person was making a wreath toilet seat and wouldn’t that itch a lot and maybe cause problems and……. I suddenly remembered I needed more, um, foam, yes foam and have a great day bye-bye now - lmao

Well, I leave you with the song from Rent I mentioned earlier as I try to figure out how to get through another one of those 525,600

Seasons Of Love Lyrics

Company:
Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty-five thousand Moments so dear

FIve hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes

How do you measure-- measure a year?

In daylights-- in sunsets
In midnights-- in cups of coffee
In inches-- in miles
In laughter-- in strife
In-- five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes
How do you measure a year in the life?

How about love?
How about love?
How about love?

Measure in love
Seasons of love

Soloist #1:
Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand Journeys to plan
Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes
How do you measure the life
Of a woman or a man?

Soloist #2:
In truths that she learned
Or times that he cried
In bridges he burned
Or the way that she died

All:
It's time now-- to sing out
Tho' the story never ends
Let's celebrate

Remember a year in the life of friends

Remember the love
Remember the love
Remember the love
Measure in love

Soloist #1:
Measure, measure your life in love
Seasons of love
Seasons of love

In diapers--reportcards
In spoke wheels--in speeding tickets
In contracts--dollars
In funerals--in births

Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes

How do you figure our last year on earth