Things to Ponder

Made it through the bridging workshop. Some of the teachers were a little forward, but hey after getting over the initial hackle that raises when hearing criticism (and if people are honest no one takes criticism and such well but how they react, accept and move on is what is different) I managed to get over it and got through the politics as well as the training and I think when students come Wednesday we will be prepared.

Work is busy but at least I am falling back into a bit of a pattern so getting a groove back.

Need to figure out ways to make sure work gets done with out overwhelming myself too much.

I need more post it notes

Been pondering lots of things lately – damn brain going all deep and thinking on me here and there

Been pondering about my sisters (one having issues with family, another health issues, another in odd place with changes in life and other assorted family stuff, can I even begin to help them, what would help them, do they really need help, can they help me, why do things get swirly the more you try to calm things, what is a definition of family and what does that mean in what you owe and should expect from those identified as such)

Been pondering about the concept of friends and levels of relationships (family, friends, acquaintances, co workers, buddy, what do they mean, how do you define a level what if your level and view does not match the level and view of the other person, does that make you less or more friends, what kind of level can a friendship be taken to in certain people and not lose the friendship and if friendship is loss was it really friendship and was it worth it to be at the level you were at and not try the deeper level or now that you tried the level the friendship is loss so you are out totally, you know the I am a half step and semi happy but tormented do you try for full step and hope at least person if they do not want full step will still treasure the half step and stay there or is the friendship ruined because trying the full step meant no going back to half step so now you just step away)

Been pondering directions (where I am now, where I came from and what the hell am I going towards, am I going towards something, am I stuck, is it really stuck or should I see it as more content, am I whining for no reason and moping when I should be smacked and realize I got it good should I dare try for more or just accept where I am and that I have changed and those changes mean certain things just are not something I will have again or dare think about so maybe I should just stop thinking about those things altogether and not be disappointed when I make a choice and fuck up what I have now and then lament I had it good where I was why did I try to go somewhere else, well I tried because it is my nature to explore and be curious and to be searching and learning and that is just me…)

Now if I can find someone who either ponders the same things, can help me ponder the same things or is willing to listen to me ramble and explore this wacky concept called life - I will be set for life and can screw the other pondering points (and of course screw the co-ponderer – hehe) – well that sounds simple, right? So no more deep thinking needed :^P