Monday, October 29, 2007

Myspace music tour

A nice concert

I went to the House of Blues in Atlantic City last night to catch the MySpace music tour. It was really good. I saw thePolysics, Young Love, Hellogoodbye and Say anything

I had only seen Young Love before (saw them open for Erasure and I really like them – in fact ended up outta myseat and downstairs dancing to them).

The Polysics were different – hard to describe, punk/hard rock with a touch of screamo and electronica and oh, they are Japanese hehe the accent the lead singers had, well it just added to the experience.

Hellogoodbye kept changing instruments and such (including banjo, mandolin and a few different types of keyboards). The lead singer kicked off his shoes (like Cyndi Lauper always does) and made it feel like a fun music time.

Say Anything was the end act and you could tell why, I enjoyed most of the songs and the feel kept strong even at the end of the night. I like the HOB venue as the upstairs seating is great and then downstairs I can go and stand in the back and still see the stage.

I miss going to concerts (happens when I teach my Friday night/Saturday morning environmental class) so I was glad to get make to the live music.

Also laughed my butt off at the bartender flirting with some ladies before the concert hehe

Ahhhh back to the work week – hopefully this week will not be as bad and hectic as last week… : )

Thursday, October 25, 2007

How far we've come

Alright so the song on my profile right now (World by Matchbox 20) ranks in one of those always in my head these days – haven't gotten it officially yet (come on Now 26 hehe) but when I do it starts going on my mix cds :P

I interpret it as kinda couple things – one the poor person is having a depression breakdown (I have stood outside, crying and had noooooo idea WTF why or how come)… then the song takes this and looks at it in the bigger picture and hey maybe the world is not quite as happy happy anyways

Yes, a sorta depressing song, and no I am not quite in that mood - although I would compare this song to many Kurt Cobain and Nirvana put out trying to catch the "Live means nothing and nothing I do changes things and so blah I don't give a f*ck care attitude" so many have today – which this song is so upbeat it tricks you (and here some might analyze that is symbolic in that people can feel gray and yet be moving pretty fast and all cause life keeps them stepping to the beat of the world not their own) and yet I do like the music and even as the words echo that sentiment).

I also like the chorus line and think about what it is saying – "Let's see how far we've come"

This statement can be looked at in a couple ways.

I think we have come pretty far, but I think there's a lot of places we can still go (and before I can define that any better then I start getting into standards and points of view and my far is fine but she wants far to be further and so on and then it is who is right who is wrong and damn I am no way in hell opening the ethics can of worms today – things have been too ick for me lately to do that.

Progress (or is it) and the people who have money and do not hit me yesterday. I spent the day in Delaware at a children's hospital going through nasty tests with my little one because she has not grown properly for the last two years and the doctor wanted to test to see if she is producing this growth hormone.

Now the progress part comes because I am short (a 4 foot 9 inches tall thank you) and when I was a kid they didn't really have these tests and the possibility of giving the hormone and all that……. And I know there are issues and problems I face being short (I laugh stuff off and make do but yeah I admit, there are things that I have to adjust or can not do that others can… is my life worse for that… hmmmmm)

As to money well growing up my family was on welfare and lived in a depressed part of the world kinda (yes I ran with, was classified by others as white trailer park trash) – we had only the state welfare and they would never have paid for these tests or the drugs and so on… (I am lucky I have a job and my ex has a job to provide coverage for little one). Would I have been in that hospital bed doing those tests so long ago had life been a little different?

And so I have been thinking to myself a lot lately about necessity, advancements, social and economic levels and just well… and well for me I am taking the yeah this is blah but I am going to keep to the positive track and so as the song goes (with a switch of one L word for another) …. Look how far we've come, look how far we've come


Matchbox 20 – How Far We've Come

I'm waking up at the start of the end of the world,
but its feeling just like every other morning before,
Now I wonder what my life is going to mean if it's gone,
the cars are moving like a half a mile an hour and I
and I started staring at the passengers who're waving goodbye
can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time?

chorus:
But I believe the world is burning to the ground
oh well I guess we're gonna find out
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come
Well I, believe, it all, is coming to an end
oh well, I guess, we're gonna pretend,
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come

I think it turned ten o'clock but I don't really know
then I can't remember caring for an hour or so
started crying and I couldn't stop myself
I started running but there's no where to run to
I sat down on the street, took a look at myself
said where you going man you know the world is headed for hell
say all goodbyes if you've got someone you can say goodbye to

I believe the world is burning to the ground
oh well I guess we're gonna find out
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come

Well I, believe, it all, is coming to an end
oh well, I guess, we're gonna pretend,
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come

Its gone gone baby its all gone
there is no one on the corner and there's no one at home
well it was cool cool, it was just all cool
now it's over for me and it's over for you
well its gone gone baby its all gone
there's no one on the corner and there's no one at home
well it was cool cool, it was just all cool
now it's over for me and it's over for you

I believe the world is burning to the ground
oh well I guess we're gonna find out
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come
Well I, believe, it all, is coming to an end
oh well, i guess, we're gonna pretend,
let's see how far we've come, again
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come
let's see how far we've come

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

understanding a character

The video I posted on my MYSpace page is a part from the movie "Love, Actually" it is a romantic, sappy, british comedy very high on my list of like and I understand so accutely now Mark (the character) and this scene is one of the top scenes of all times that always makes me cry because, it is so much more like the truth than the others... to all the other Mark's out there, I hold up my glass with you as we cart our signs and empty hearts home.

Or as he says... "Enough. Enough, now..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5m2T5yfgsZ0

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Little shop of horrors - yet another reference

OK, I do not like the dentist. But then again unless you are the Bill Murray character from the movie (also a great musical) Little Shop of Horrors, then most people do not like the dentist.

But ewww when the hygienist goes behind you, already been working on you with the torture device known as the little water pick thingy (a beautiful Julie word description – yes? :P) but then they take their implements and you hear "SCRAPE, SCRAPE" as they sharpen them on a stone behind your head as you cling to your bib reclined back, bright light over head.

And then the little vacuum that sticks in your mouth and sucks you dry as you try not to swallow that ick and keep your tongue off the damp sucky thing… hmmm that sounded a little wrong there but still….

So other than getting my teeth all sparkly, things plowing along. The weathers been ok and work and classes keeping me busy but plowing along. Put up Halloween decorations – yay. Not sure what is up for weekend. Probably grading and stuff around the house. I may tackle the jungle that use to be my backyard.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Traits and what I wish wasn't always was

You know we all have traits and personalities characteristics that just don’t gel with most of the rest of the world. Does that mean then those are not normal traits and we should fix them? Sometimes yes, sometimes no IMO

I am finding I have been very worried about my traits because I am so isolated and alone that I want to make sure if something comes along I don’t mess it up. Because one of my traits is to always assume that when people leave, things go wrong, or no one finds me and takes interest it is 100% my fault and the way I am. Is that true? Sometimes, sometimes it is only 50% and sometimes it is 23.4567% and sometimes it is 0%. Problem is, as all good "flawed" characteristics go, I can’t see past that to know when it is the 100% and I need to do something and when It s the 0% and I should let it go, take a chill pill and move on….

I know another trait of mine gets me in trouble – I am very much of the obvious a true MOO at your service (Master of the Obvious)

It means I fall into jokes and miss double entendre and say one thing and mean another and blush a whole hell of a lot. It also means I am slow to get the joke, do not read people or situations well (G\gaydar? What the hell is that, everyone is straight, no gay, no… how the hell do I know what you are until you tell me, shit and poop already).

See that's the rub, I'll pick up a left-handed mop and happily go on using it until someone tells me, um, use the right handed mop….

But that means I get in trouble, assume more than I should and many other things.

Of course I have many loveable traits to :P but I am modest and not one to brag ; )

Ah well, we all have our pros and cons ups and downs.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Subtle

Wow October 1 – funny how time flies, or drags like the heavy anchor attached to a boat. Hmm no idea where that analogy popped from, just kinda popped. Actually a lot of stuff has just been popping lately, good and bad, funny and very very serious. Some very serious thinking… like Madonna's song "Jump" serious….

Work is going along, classes hitting the first major test so will see how the information is flowing from me to students. Working on designing the Advanced Web Design class for the online high school I teach for and still waiting on the other at work to see how my day job changes – subtle changes at work too… lots of shifts, work, family, friends, personal…

Shifts can be good but for me they can also be unsettling. Especially the subtle shifts. The ones that leave me unable to say in words what is different, what changed, but you get to a point and look back and go, "SHIT!" and then you can say what is different. And the thing I really get unsettled about that is, those always end badly for me… I end up losing something, someone, or shifting to a place I wish I hadn't. Although, I have to admit, I've had both kinds of shifting going on for, oh about a year actually… whew how time flies.

Thing is, I'm getting that ick feel in the pit of my stomach. Part of that is this time of year – Oct through December is especially bad, starting with my mom's b day in a few days and this is breast cancer month (a sad coincidence) and well lots of other stuff has happened that I look back and go, these are not things I wish had happened. And just.. I am unsettled and yet in some things very ok and content, yeah I know, wishy washy…

Add to that, I don’t do subtlety well. I often do not catch that double entendre, miss the jokes, don’t make the links, do not read people, or catch the hidden meaning. I take things so at face value I often blunder, bloop, misinterpret and end up with this ick feeling deep in the pit of my stomach that usually leads to something more (Kathy don’t say a word, I will not go there, I promise, no tissue box needing right now… give it a few…)

On other fronts – four day weekend technically coming up, but the colleges are not off so I still have my Friday and Saturday class (may try to do something Saturday night), little one and I may look into doing something on he Monday as the schools are closed (thinking aquarium or such) and Friday is professional development for the high school – I am taking a few neat workshops – I get to make Egyptian cartouche, go for a walk in a marsh and then go hang out at the zoo for the afternoon – wheeeeeee

Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?