Subtle

Wow October 1 – funny how time flies, or drags like the heavy anchor attached to a boat. Hmm no idea where that analogy popped from, just kinda popped. Actually a lot of stuff has just been popping lately, good and bad, funny and very very serious. Some very serious thinking… like Madonna's song "Jump" serious….

Work is going along, classes hitting the first major test so will see how the information is flowing from me to students. Working on designing the Advanced Web Design class for the online high school I teach for and still waiting on the other at work to see how my day job changes – subtle changes at work too… lots of shifts, work, family, friends, personal…

Shifts can be good but for me they can also be unsettling. Especially the subtle shifts. The ones that leave me unable to say in words what is different, what changed, but you get to a point and look back and go, "SHIT!" and then you can say what is different. And the thing I really get unsettled about that is, those always end badly for me… I end up losing something, someone, or shifting to a place I wish I hadn't. Although, I have to admit, I've had both kinds of shifting going on for, oh about a year actually… whew how time flies.

Thing is, I'm getting that ick feel in the pit of my stomach. Part of that is this time of year – Oct through December is especially bad, starting with my mom's b day in a few days and this is breast cancer month (a sad coincidence) and well lots of other stuff has happened that I look back and go, these are not things I wish had happened. And just.. I am unsettled and yet in some things very ok and content, yeah I know, wishy washy…

Add to that, I don’t do subtlety well. I often do not catch that double entendre, miss the jokes, don’t make the links, do not read people, or catch the hidden meaning. I take things so at face value I often blunder, bloop, misinterpret and end up with this ick feeling deep in the pit of my stomach that usually leads to something more (Kathy don’t say a word, I will not go there, I promise, no tissue box needing right now… give it a few…)

On other fronts – four day weekend technically coming up, but the colleges are not off so I still have my Friday and Saturday class (may try to do something Saturday night), little one and I may look into doing something on he Monday as the schools are closed (thinking aquarium or such) and Friday is professional development for the high school – I am taking a few neat workshops – I get to make Egyptian cartouche, go for a walk in a marsh and then go hang out at the zoo for the afternoon – wheeeeeee

Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?