borrowing philosophies

apparently, someone told me, the little poetic waxing the gas attendant did was based on something George Carlin has done. Since I do not really watch Mr. Carlin (but he was funny as shit in the very good movie Dogma) I did not catch that - so i will say Mr. Carlin, that is one weird way to classify people and I still wonder which I fall into (I would tend to go with the middle one :)

The People You Meet

I stopped for gas this morning and was treated to a philosophy of the type of people there are in the world. In NJ it is against the law to pump your own gas - all gas stations are full serve and an attendant has to pump.

So the normal procedure is pull in tell the person who comes up what you want - watch as they disappear once again, sit there while it fills and eventually they come back and give you a reciept and then you are on your way.

Well this morning the attendant I guess was bored, or in a mood or who knows but he stands by my window and starts talking and engaging in conversation. As he continues on he informs me there are really only three types of people

Stupid People
Fucking Nutty People
Full of Shit People.

Then he continues that the stupid people you may encounter a 100 a day for instance. F-nuts people maybe 30 and the Full of shit people last a lifetime.

He then proceeded to notice the parking sticker I have on my car for a college I teach at. And the questions followed - are you a student? No I teach. Oh what? Geology and Science. Oh you do archeaology and digs then.....

why do people always link geology with digging up bones :P

But then he proceeded to ask where I had done field work and I mentioned the Smithsonian Institute, Univ of Penn and other places and then wheeeee my 10 gallons were complete and another customer came in....

So I got gas and philosophy for my morning commute

Weekend Follies and DratI really am a True blonde

Okay this weekend I learned a hard lesson I am a truly spacey blonde -Kathy knows what I am talking about and I am too embarrassed to ever reveal the details - like shame, stupid, embarrassed but I had the confirmation Friday that I spaz out on things just like Dory from Finding Nemo - siiiggghhhh But Friday was a baaaaaaddddd day - had depressing news, spazed and did the bad blonde thing thus messing something up and then was just mopey blech all around.

In an effort to distract my thoughts from certain things on Saturday - I took back up the rollers and paintbrushes and attacked another wall - this time on of the hallway walls - the very high walls - the okay shit that did not work and now I must figure out how to finish certain parts walls. But it was a nice sense of accomplishment to get another basic wall done - yes it looks totally unprofessional (like I am a professional painter) but shit I do not care. If I ever hook up with someone and they care, then I'll care, till then it is a wall that forms my house and I want to paint them turquoise blue and coffee brown so there

I also learned to make sure kitty is shut up tight in a room and does not get out and does not sneak up on me as I am touching up with the paint brush and does not attack paintbrush thus scaring me, pushing kitty and me into painted wall and then running around after kitty tracking blue paw prints all over - thank goodness I have wood floors and kitty stayed off the furniture. That was madness and giggly fun, well giggles after I stopped running around in circles cussing and chasing the cat thus spreading things more. I must have been a nice blue-blonde sight - LMAO

Got some great books over the weekend as I visited Borders (along with getting a haircut trim - bangs still intact) and working on those including a book by Stone Butch Blues author Leslie Feinberg (THAT WAS A GREAT BOOK) - the book is called Drag King Dreams and I working through that now and anticipate it will be just as f*ing good.

Sunday was errands, watching the movie 'Over the Hedge' with a just turned six year old (and finding oh damn I laughed at the burp and fart jokes as hard as the other kids in the theater - ohhh man) I thought the movie was funny and liked it, Hammy rocks big time!!!!! And the six year old kept doing the William Shatner Opossum impersonation and cracking me up - then I started doing them too and here we are in the theater doing these Opossum playing dead impersonations and jokes. You need to see the movie to get a visual on what we were doing - we nailed the Opossum part and William Shatner lines though - dead on... (oh that was bad)

Then attacked the yard and did a little more on the landscaping and getting things cleaned up around the yard. Still lots to go on that project but again chipping away.

Finished out the night writing/posting some (a very intense but awesome scene came out very good because of the person I was posting with - i really like the scene) and also slowly working on my class notes for the class I start teaching July 5 - I am working through motion and forces and energy right now. Oh man those students are going to be hurting by the time I am done with them - just teasing.

Monday however is starting off like the Daniel Powter and similar artist's songs about bad days as a rock on the way to work hit windshield and cracked it - tomorrow they glass people will come to my work and replace it which is cool but I had to reschedule a braces appointment and could not get an opening for over 2 weeks. But such is life and moving on along to the next thing (and hoping I do not find any more blue paw prints around....)

where winds my mood today?

so where is my mood today - not where I wish it would be but then I'm not where I wish i could be (I need to find someone to go chasing cars with me - who's with me?)- I'll see if I can elaborate more later - it's been a long, too full of too much thinking week - I think I'll wait until i've got the activity I have planned for tonight under my belt - then that should be a hoot of an entry to read if not too toasted to type properly...


Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just look at the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
I said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just look at the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just look at the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just look at the world?


David Gray - Hospital Food Lyrics

Just a little something for the pain
Hospital food getting you down?
Honey now I'm not one to complain
But this hangin' around
Is wearing me out

So patch me up boys take me home
Are you not hearing a word I say?
She sounds so different on the phone
I just sink like a stone
Back to the bay

Tell me something
Tell me something
I don't already know
Tell me something
Tell me something I don't know

Don't seem to have that much to show
For all the hard work, the sweat and toil
You say 'well that's right', and you should know

You've been there before
You've basked in the glow
You've stood in the roar
You've tasted the snow

Tell me something
Tell me something
I don't already know
Tell me something
Tell me something
I don't already

Seeing it all so beautiful
The way it oughta be
Seeing it all so beautiful

And turning away
Turning away
Turning away

Tell me something
Tell me something
I don't already know

Tell me something
Tell me something
I don't already know

Sisters

Sisters

What an incredibly wonderful, awesome, frustrating, pain in my butt, going to slap you silly, best thing to happen to me, concept.

Do you treat a person differently if she is a sister? No matter what, I think just the concept of brother, sister, relation, colors a person's perspective at some level - even the most unbiased person I think somewhere at some subconscious or conscious level is affected by the word sister or brother when dealing with people.

I am one of four sisters. If you look at us, you find many interesting similarities and many, many, many (last one said with huge sigh and what am I going to do tone) many differences. I am the eldest of four girls in terms of birthdate. I am the shortest. I have the smallest family, my sisters all have two or three kids each. I have the most education (well education as defined only in terms of going to academic institutions - education comes in all forms and I would be foolish to think in certain areas I am well-educated - I know my sisters know much more than me in certain areas). I am the only one to have moved away from the city where we grew up (I ended up on the other side of the continent). My one sister is the only one still married to her original spouse (who was also her high school sweetheart) the rest of us are divorced. I'm the only one not in some form of relationship or dating anyone right now (although i'd love to find someone - lol).

Blood is thicker than water... what does that really mean?

One of my sisters is with no hesitation, no doubt, no shame that it is this way and I admit it - my best friend in the world and the only one who knows every single thing about me, she's the only one. She is one of only two people in the world I would never lie to no matter what the consequences (the other person is probably not aware of the fact she holds that special distinction in my world of course she is also not aware of the huge, major, more than a crush but 'fuck-it-she-will-never-know-the-way-I feel-about-her' attraction and deep feelings for her, but that is another blog and one I should probably not write as I will get very depressed).

My other two sisters I love and both are of course special, but I admit they are not as close to me. Some people are closer to non-related people than their own sister or brother. It is interesting how people use words like friends, acquaintances, partners, family and how these relationships are defined....

My sisters and I often joke among ourselves and classify ourselves. If you wrote down everything that had happened in our lives, it really would read like a bad soap opera script (I really should write down some of the things that have happened). But if you go for the stereotype and ways we kinda shake out.... There's the yuppie sister who's into being a 2.5 family, the mother figure sister who cares for everyone, the scholar sister who got out, the playgirl sister who lives life fast and loose.

The playgirl sister... the one that is causing much frustration among the other three sisters right now (and reason behind this entry). The one I am worried to death and mad as hell at. The one that is dating almost every night, and ends up sleeping with two or three different people a few nights a week (no I am not making that up), is following in my father's and (somewhat mother's) footsteps and becoming an alcoholic, just left one guy she'd been engaged to, still flirting with her ex, is playing her sisters, using anyone and everyone and is driving me insane and....

And whom I am not sure how to help, how to handle and what to do other than try and hang on as she goes on her little wild irresponsible ride through life. I do not use irresponsibly loosely, I am very irresponsible in many regards and very immature but... for example

she is always begging and hitting us up for money, she has no job (and not really working at getting one) and then gets a settlement of a couple 1000 from a lawsuit (again another blog for another day...grrrr)

BUT instead of using that to get an apartment or pay bills or such... she is supposed to be babysitting my other sister's kids so that sister can go to work well when that sister calls to confirm for the next morning, the playgirl sister took the money she got from the settlement and went to San Diego for the week (Sunday night, Kath calls Beck and Beck answers from Sea World, oh can't babysit tomorrow, we took off for a few days) thus blowing all the money and leaving my other sister high and dry.....

It is a sad but true thing that my sisters have come to almost regard a call from this sister as a "what do you want or what the F* trouble are you in now?" reason for her to be contacting us. Do you help, stand back and watch the crash, try to bring in outside help, do all of the things just listed and still find the same thing occurring? Laugh maniacally when you see her number on caller ID...

love her because she is your sister even when anyone else that had done even half of the stuff she had done you would walk away from... Which begs the question - is it right to treat this situation differently then others only because of a difference?

The only difference between someone you would not accept this kind of action from and her is a word.....

Sisters

Being a Regular

Good Start To A Day

Ok the one McDonald's server is one heckuva classic chick, lady, person. I often stop in the morning to get a milk and an Ice tea (I hate milk but it is good for you and I end up not eating the rest of the day so milk is good to tide me over). I do not drink coffee but fresh brewed, unsweetened ice tea with lemon (sugar and fountain and bottle stuff is crap) is something I drink probably too much of (I am an ice tea snob and yes it needs to be fresh brewed and unsweetened).

But I usually order that in the morning and often get this one person - the staff knows me at the McDonald's pretty well. So today I pull up to the drive thru and she just says come around - I am laughing and go ok and pull around.

She hands out the tea and milk and I go to pay and she is like "It's on me today." I am like um sure? And she is yup. So classy lady you made my day because that was way cool - I had a classy lady buy me a tea and milk in a sense - lol

Today is also the last day for school - I am a 12 month employee so I come back Monday regular but the students and teachers will be gone....

I rented the first season of The 4400 - I was looking for Dark Angel as I am reading this cool Birds of Prey / Dark Angel crossover but have never seen DA. So my video store does not have it and I decide to rent 4400 - ok I like this show a lot - I am hooked - I am going to rent season 2 and I know season three just started but I think since I missed the first two eppys I will wait - but i highly recommend the show.

Now to get Dark Angel and enjoy all of Ms. Alba's, erm, talents :-D

Plus a friend is really down - gotta figure out a way to cheer her up or at least hope to give her an ear to rant or what not - whatever helps.....

changing of the guard

Attended the retirement dinner for my boss last night. I will miss my boss. She was a very cool boss and really knew how to get things done. I also hope the new person coming in does not decide to restructure the department in any way that would mean I have no job - I hate having to go from year to year and wondering if I will get a contract or not - but then in a way everyone goes through that possibility. The thing is if it happens you do what my boss was doing last night, look back on the past with a sense of accomplishment and wow i made it through that, think excitedly about the future and try not to think about what the hell do I do now :-)

Working through the weekend

Pretty average weekend thus far and not too much planned for tomorrow to alter from that view.

Watched the original Reefer Madness Friday - a friend recommended the updated version but I have not been able to get a hold of that. Many of the video stores here I checked out do not carry it. The one Blockbuster that has the case out has not had the movie out for ever and does not do holds. And Suncoast could not order it - I really wanna see that.

Saturday walked the boardwalk in the morning and then hung around home and did some basic chores - started organizing some stuff and may even continue the organizing mood big time tomorrow (Sunday) - I am in a get rid of things mode right now cause of where my mind is regarding certain things (yes mind is in the dumps about a certain issue) - so not sure if that is a good or bad time to organize... kinda like you should not go to the grocery store when hungry although I often tend to do that anyways

Sunday (tomorrow - well today) planning on doing mainly stuff around the house - start writing up lessons for the Physical Science course I start teaching in July, try to find some math resources for a math curriculum I am writing and maybe hit a local Greek Festival.

Let's see current reading materials include:

Mergers by Steven Layne
Staying Dead by Laura Anne Gilman (and will read the sequel once I finish this)
The Looking Glass by Frank Beddor (about to start that)
The unknown Mile by Jaime Clevenger
Bell, Book and Dyke by various authors
Talent – a new comic series by Christopher Golden and other
Bird of Prey comics
Y the Last man comic series
Fables – comic series (I really like this series)
Alias comic series (and no not the TV series – something totally different and very good)
And working through the second book in the Lemmony snicket series

Got a few more books recommended to me and I'll start those as soon as I finish this lot

Also have had some movies recommended to me so I think the upcoming week will be spent watching a buttload of movies (including I need to rent Firefly – I got this idea for a story) and reading a bunch.

Also been listening to the Wicked soundtrack – I soooo wanna see that again.

Two Sides of the Same Coin

Being alone can be freeing, idyllic, tranquill, bold, a treasure

Being alone can be depressing, desolate, painful, scary, a curse

I like being alone
I hate being alone
I really hate being lonely

Catching a little fun In Asbury Park

Had a good time last night. Headed up to Asbury Park. Was going to the Wonder Bar to see Lez Zeppelin. I like the changes at the bar. It use to be the mile long bar and then a huge dark place with a good stage in the corner. They added some tables and chairs and have a larger kitchen menu. Their pizza was good and cheap.

The traffic up was not bad at all (I think the cool and rainy weather was one reason - cool wow in the 60s and 70s here). But I got there early so I walked their very small boradwalk and stopped in an arcade. The boardwalk is small and like the rest of the seafront illustrates the changing face and dilapidation of a great sea town but it goes on (a cue people could take)

They had a Sopranos pinball game, which I had never played. so I played a few games (won 2). I found the game cool although very violent.... of course the one ramp you would shoot every time the ball rounded the top, there were two little poles with two dancers that would swivel around doing a pole dance.

I learned how to make that shot real fast - lmao

But the game was good and so was the concert (second time I had seen them second or third time I've been to the Wonder Bar). The people watching was great too. Loved seeing all sorts of people and that couples could just be themselves and relax and not worry about certain things.

The upcoming week promises to be not too bad but lots to do anyways. My co worker is on vacation for a few days. While no imminent projects loom, I do have a number of curriculum things I hope to firm up and push through.

I also hope to work on some of my stories and do some writing/posting - I'm in a mind is wandering into areas it should not and rather than get unmotivated and depressed I really wanna try to not think about those things or rather person and such... so instead of looking to my dreams and who I do not have - I'll take a cue from Sheryl Crow...

It's not having what you want
It's wanting what you've got


A couple of other songs just pass the time of day away and come from my secret list of wishes and if the world were a different place I'd have her files

THE CLICK FIVE LYRICS

Just The Girl


She's cold and she's cruel
But she knows what she's doin'
She pushed me in the pool
At our last school reunion
She laughs at my dreams
But I dream about her laughter
Strange as it seems
She's the one I'm after

[Chorus:]
Cause she's bittersweet
She knocks me off of my feet
And I can't help myself
I don't want anyone else
She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep comin' back for more
She's just the girl I'm lookin' for

She can't keep a secret
For more than an hour
She runs on 100 proof attitude power
And the more she ignores me
The more I adore her
What can I do?
I'd do anything for her

Cause she's bittersweet
She knocks me off of my feet
And I can't help myself
I don't want anyone else
She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep comin' back for more
She's just the girl I'm lookin' for

And when she sees it's me
On her caller ID
She won't pick up the phone
She'd rather be alone
But I can't give up just yet
Cause every word she's ever said
Is still ringin' in my head
Still ringin' in my head

She's cold and she's cruel
But she knows what she's doin'
Knows just what to say
So my whole day is ruined

Cause she's bittersweet
She knocks me off of my feet
And I can't help myself
I don't want anyone else
She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep comin' back for more

Cause she's bittersweet
She knocks me off of my feet
And I can't help myself
I don't want anyone else
She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep comin' back for more
Oh, I keep comin' back for more
She's just the girl I'm lookin' for
Just the girl I'm lookin' for

I'm lookin' for
I'm lookin' for
I'm lookin' for
Just the girl I'm lookin' for

JEM - Falling For You Lyrics

Said there'd be no going back
Promised myself I'd never be that sad
Maybe that's why you've come along
To show me, it's not always bad

Coz I can feel it, baby
I feel like I'm falling for you
But I'm scared to, let go
I'm scared coz my heart has been hurt so

It's true I've become a skeptic
How many couples really love
Just wish I had a crystal ball
To show me, if it's worth it all

Coz I can feel it, baby
I feel like I'm falling for you
But I'm scared to, let go
I'm scared coz my heart has been hurt so
Yeah I can feel it, baby
I feel like I'm falling for you
But I'm scared to, let go
I'm scared coz my heart has been hurt so

And I've got to be sure
Coz it's been so long
And I cannot take the pain again
If it all goes wrong

Coz I can feel it, baby
I feel like I'm falling for you
But I'm scared to, let go
I'm scared coz my heart has been hurt so
Yeah I can feel it, baby
I feel like I'm falling for you
But I'm scared to, let go
I'm scared coz my heart has been hurt so

I want you so much
I need you so much
I want you so much
I need you so much
[believe me my love
believe me my love]