Just Tripping Along The Freakazoid

I ended up getting some things done this weekend much to my amazement. Looks like I may be teaching Physical science for Cumberland County College this summer (yes I am nuts). Managed to get a bunch of chores done including starting to work on my front yard - still a-ways to go and of course there is the wild jungle in the back. Also got to do something I really like with someone on Sunday - although that is still a depressing subject (I wish things were different and could work out in a perfect "take things to next step level" and that I had the guts to find out one way or the other although I know things are wayyyy to different and this other person would never think of or be interested and why ruin what you got for something that ain't happening and damn if I could find a person just like her I'd not be lonely and be happy and....... blech...) and yes I am such as dweeb on that particular subject as my sister tells me, but then lonely is the lot in life. But at ...

There is something, not surreal, but a word like that sitting watching 5 - 9 year olds play T-ball. It is wonderful when the kid hits the ball and then runs after it grabs it, gives it to the other team then heads for the base :-D Or when a kid in the outfield stands there spinning and spinning and spinning and then falls down dazed..... Of course there are plenty of moments with 12 kids all running across the field after the ball and such. After I recover from my T-ball experience I am hoping to catch my favorite cover band tonight and then I have a ticket to see Lez Zepplin (a female Led Zepplin and more cover band) tomorrow. I made it through the presentation Thursday - whew - it went so-so. Talking about curriculum at 4pm thursday when many are taking Friday off because of the three day weekend is tough - but I made it through. The person who is the director of the program and I spoke a bit before the meeting and it was interesting listening to him. He teaches lasers and physics...

Vegas – lots of fun Well everyone finally got in last night – we only walked around a little. As I was waiting for them to arrive – I occupied myself for over 30 minutes and only spent 2 quarters. How you ask (well you may not be asking but if you are still reading then I swear I heard you say how). The hotel we are in has this horse racing game – it has five plastic horses and they go around a track with random speeds and run a race. You bet on which two horses will come in first and second. I won over 60 quarters but ended up playing them all. But it was a nice long time to keep me occupied. Today we walked all over – we started at Mandalay Bay and I've got some good photos and I got this cool surfboard necklace. The we headed up into Luxor and the Excalibur. That was fun. I played a dart game and won a bunny – hurray. In New York New York I was playing this dice game and ended up winning 31 bucks – gooooo me. We then hot Aladdin and stayed around for the indoor rainstor...

OK quick update for now – I'm in Vegas – flights were ok – first one was delayed because of rain and I ran but made my connection. Then I waited in the world's longest taxi line – no shit. I have never seen anything like it I swear it had 7 wrap around lines and took me as long in the line as the cab ride did. It was like a Disney amusement ride line or something – lol It was fun watching as new people got in line and realized how f*ing long the line was - their comments and looks were awesome and fun The cab driver was nice – chatted away – he's from Brooklyn but been out here 22 years and loves it – commented about all the new developments and such. Staying in the Frontier – the casino whose front sign proclaims… BEER DIRTY GIRLS MUD WRESTLING 1.99 MARGARITAS BULL RIDING Yes my kinda hotel – lol I got here first waiting for the others to get in – I think we are hitting Fremont Street tonight. Not sure… should be fun – and yes my sister has already made me promise to...

Man i love playing pinball - after walking some (made two and half miles today) on teh boardwalk, stopped in at the arcade to catch a few games (played Lord of the Rings this evening) - I do enjoy playing - just put on my headphones and music (This evening's selection included The Like) and go for bumping, flipping and keeping that little steel ball moving. It's really nice sometimes to have something moving forward and going and not thinking about anything but having fun and that little steel ball.

A former student of mine just Im'd me to let me know that a student from the same class she took from me was killed this Friday in a domestic altercation. The student who Im'd me I think needed to talk (I can appreciate needing someone to just talk to and work through things) and went over a lot about the class and her classmates and staying in touch with people and other things (the student that was killed was one of the better students in the class, an older woman with 2 kids, 3 and 13, was very out going in personality and worked at an alternative high school and was always very busy and participated in the extra credit stuff - including a field trip which the student that IM'd me also went on - that was a great trip and I even have a blog entry somewhere about it...). Some Mother's Day for that family :-( fuck I hate when the world reminds me of how many nasty crevices are sprinkled through out the good things. Although this also makes me pause and realize for all I...

This week has been a whew and glad it is gone and over week. Got back form the conference and worked to catch up on work – still lots of projects but slowly starting to get almost a pinky finger above water – lol. The atmosphere at work is still odd and off due to the changes in administration (such as my boss retiring), the contract negotiations, in-fighting in staff, rumors and the gossip mill on overtime (I swear it is churning out so much shit we will soon have the highest mountain in the world in our school's backyard. Of course it will not be made of granite but of crap, hot air and such…. I did get a piece of good in amongst the bad, unsure and unmotivated news – I got my letter at work that I have, pending contract negotiations of course, been offered a contract for next year. That means I have my job for at least another year – hurray. Of course my job is such if they really wanted they could cut my job at anytime and such but hey at least I got a renewal for a year. ...

Had a good day. I started out catching the train into downtown and got my ticket for the 2:00 Culture and Commerce architecture tour. Then I walked all the hell over until the tour. Ended up stopping at Portillo's and got pizza. Yesterday I had this awesome Italian Beef and cheddar with sweet peppers on the side croissant at the same place. I like that place and need to go back just to try the polish sausage and other menu fare. Today was warm and most completely awesomely gorgeous. Yesterday I froze my butt off. Chicago is like bi-polar or schizoid or something in terms of the weather – lmao But walked around and got these cool pewter mystical figures to add to my collection. I almost got a dagger for my dagger collection but I was good. But what I got will go along with my other souvenir, a bracelet from the Field museum (it is Egyptian hieroglyphics for the word friend). I like to get bracelets or a ring or necklace when I go somewhere; then I can say my body ornamentat...

Ok so Saturday was a good day trip wise – mediocre mood wise – so it means the teeter-totter of life was balanced slightly higher in the good direction – hurray. Started by sleeping in – not setting the alarm – and that is such an unusual event for moe. I realize I set the alarm a lot and keep myself on a certain schedule – not always so much like a planned, anal schedule (I am quite scattered-brained and forgetful) but I am also moving type schedule and always have something to be done. Which is still true during the trip but I have been not setting the alarm – and will not set it when I go to bed tonight either… but alas back to setting it for Monday to get up to go :( So finally when I did get up I took my trip on the train – YAY! I actually only did into main downtown and did not ride on the loop train but still – and it was cheap and easy and what I will do tomorrow. I then went on a walking architecture tour – which in an unplanned (see trying not to schedule) move I will go i...

A side note about yesterday before on to today – the three other teachers wanted to walk Michigan Ave (the place with tons of shops) – well they got into it and knew the stores and clothing and really were trying things on and some even bought some – but I felt so out of place. In the one store while they are looking at dresses and skirts and outfits I found myself interested in this multiple tool in one (with a cool stapler, scissors, tape measure and other gadgets) Another clothing store I looked around but then headed out and ended up standing outside listening to some street musician. One store in the mall I realized I was standing around much like the other guys who were drug into the Anne Taylor's Loft. I actually went out to stand at the mall railing and people watched – I actually wrote a little drabble story based on that (which I will try to post later as soon as I find the brochure I wrote it on – lol) I mean I did like looking at some things and stores and Michigan Av...

Still going strong at the reading conference and Chicago but things on mind and busy as always. Yesterday enjoyed a day at the conference and then the conference people through this gala – they transformed the Navy pier into the different neighborhoods of Chicago. You could walk through and eat and watch entertainment. In one section they had fortune tellers and the teachers I was with wanted to go. So I asked since I was so lonely would I find someone (hey this was free and they brought in serious tellers what the heck) – she gave me some nice things to think about and was honest (as she said "You will have to kiss a hell of a lot of toes before finding the right frog that turns into a princess" – yes her words not mine she got that I am looking for the princess not a prince – go figure :) so I have work but hope – so where's my princess already?) The evening ended with a live band, dancing and it was a nice time. Today more conference and meeting authors and trying ...

Ok – I made it to Chicago – took off at 6am got in 7am chicago time (crossing them time zones always messes with me) – I actually slept a lot on the plane tho – nice two hour nap (which was needed because of all the non-sleeping I have been doing) Manage to get this airport express shuttle (it is rainy and kinda blech) and they drop me at the wrong hyatt – I figure that out and luckily they help me get to the right one and I get to check in early – yay Then going to the room - I find out half the elevators go to one set of floors and the other the othr set, so after riding up and down – lol – I get to my room – yay I hit the Field Museum (the other teachers coming in later) – that museum is awesome – it is mainly Natural History and culture and wow and man my feet and brain are tired – lol I was going all over the place – I got the ticket for the shrink to 1/100 size and walk through soil even tho' they said recommended for kids age 6 – hey that's me and seeing an animated pin...

Attended a concert saturday at The Music Box in the Borgata in Atlantic City - first i really like the venue - it was easy to see and nice seats with cupholders - a major plus. The group was Sound Tribe Sector 9 - my fist time and after the ass-kickingly awesome concert, I hope not my last - the place only filled about half way and people immediatly began seat hopping. In fact everyone started up on their feet from the getgo and let me tell you - this was the first concert I have been to that turned an auditorium type venue into a major dance club. I am not talking about the kind of minimal dancing and swying people do at concerts - this was full out people funk swaying and dancing totally loose (listen to STS9 music and you will see why http://www.sts9.com/ ). I enjoyed it a lot and danced the whole time. Now on to the reading conference in Chicago I have a 6am flight and then spend a week in the area (conference half the week and just little old me all alone exploring the Windy C...

Made it through a major meeting today – had a regional rep for the NAF academies coming down and managed to get just about everyone there (save a few which caused minor nerves and attacks) and everything else set. Actually had some good things come from the meeting (although it means lots more work for me – hurray for paperwork… NOT) Now it is on to the conference presentation next week. Then finishing the grades and such for the two college classes and as always curriculum in the background. But really after about May 15th I think things might settle down (depending as always on the status of work and jobs and my future which is another topic for another day) Of course then I will be looking around going what do I do now? What will keep my attention? Hmmm maybes I can look into actually taking a class for the summer or such. Or maybe actually get out there and connect and meet some people – that would be good… course not quite sure how to go about that – but hey something to thi...

guess this kinda fits the way things seem to be going right now - especially one set of lines - a wish to see someone's face I know I'll never get to - dreams sometimes are good and sometimes just make your heart ache because you know you can never have her - ah well - tomorrow is another day --------- Artist/Band: Allan Gary Lyrics for Song: Life Ain't Always Beautiful Life ain't always beautiful Sometimes it's just plain hard Life can knock you down, it can break your heart Life ain't always beautiful You think you're on your way And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day But the struggle makes you stronger And the changes make you wise And happiness has it's own way of takin' it sweet time [chorus] No,life aint always beautiful Tears will fall sometimes Life aint always beautiful But it's a beautiful ride Life aint always beautiful Some days I miss your smile I get tired of walkin' all these lonely miles And I wish for just on...

Had a flat tire Sunday morning and had to find a place to fix it - ended up at a nearby Pep Boys (love those plug into lighter air compressors - it got me to the place, hurray). Luckily they were not too busy and it was only replacing the one tire. So put in my name and get pointed to the waiting room - which for a car place is interesting and neat as it is adjacent to the car bays and all glass, so you can easily see and watch them working on your cars (I got to see how they do the tire as well as a few other jobs too). But the interesting thing to watch and ponder was how the kids who were in the waiting room interacted - and made me realize how sometimes I wish I could and really how sometimes I really do act like a kid... The adults are all sitting in the chairs, looking bored, not really talking... the kids go up to one another and start introducing themselves, start playing and oh the creativity - they made their girls go to the fungus school and were captured and were all over ...

Wow, I am glad I have my ark parked out back… just kidding but it started late Friday and has been heavy most of today and will be raining some tomorrow too. We needed the rain and I love the sound – especially in this house. The woman who owned it before me had the porch enclosed to make this sun room like thing, but you go in there and it is a big glass sliding door and the other wall al windows too and even if I open it a window in the roof, so basically I can go in there and really hear the rain – the room is not heated or cooled but it is a nice place. Plus she had built in benches (they are cool cause they are storage space too) but they are along one and a half walls so I can sit in the corner and just listen to the rain which helps me get to sleep or at least not think about tumultuous thoughts. Grocery shopping was interesting – the woman ahead of me bought this 24 pack of water bottles but got up to the register and the cashier tells her this is not the one on sale. So the...

Well today was an awesome spring day weather wise, but work was so-so. Found out one of like only three friends I have here in NJ accepted a position at another school kinda far away and will start there in sept – I am major major bummed. I keep losing friends and people. Had talkings with my Boss and most likely will end up staying at the school for another year but past that and in what capacity – everyday (like today) I hear someone else is leaving or moving or a job shift or…. I do not know what is going to happen but I am working like hell to hang on – anybody in the neighborhood have a spare arm I can hang onto? Going to try and work on some more curriculum tomorrow and also working on the Bridging Program for the summer (I am the Director for that program). Thinking about trying to catch some music at The Stone Pony tomorrow. Rented "Breakfast on Pluto" and watched it tonight – and I found I really liked it. It was a different type of movie but I understood more o...

Today ended up getting shittier and shittier as the day wore on and in true Julie fashion I have taken one bad thing and managed to somehow use it to pull up a myriad of bad and depressing thoughts about many topics and thus the day is firmly buried now under stinky, depressing things and the forecast for tomorrow predicts much the same. And the initial spark and reason for the downward spiral leaving me with a pounding headache and a pounding heart, said emotional heart that feels like it will explode and at least for tonight I almost wish it would because then I would not be so emotional and could be noncaring and not let things get to me so bad I have to pull over on the way home until I can stop crying like a fool and stop thinking the really bad, how worthless things are and all those emotionally charged thoughts. But ah yes the spark Have you ever cheated on a test, or paper or assignment or even on something outside of the school setting? If so, or next time you stand at the rea...

Work was odd today – it is spring break at the school so only 12 month employees (such as yours truly) have to go into work. And a lot of the 12 month take vacations – so it is pretty empty – which is odd but nice. It means this week I may actually get a number of projects completed and even catch up. Like today I finished typing up and writing the Diesel Engine technology curriculum (yes I have become an expert on Fuel injection systems, hydraulic breaks, dyno testing and a lot more). I spent a lot of time at Howstuffworks.com – you know I never realized how much there is that goes on under the hood of a car. I am still reading through the stuff. But back to projects – the down side to finishing projects is then I get to a place I do not know what to do with myself – and that is good and bad. Keeping my mind and self busy means less thinking about how quiet the house is so much of the time or trying to figure out what to do and not just sit around feeling like I am alone sitting ...