Just Tripping Along The Freakazoid

Well getting back into swing of things – mostly. School was fun last couple of days (NOT – well sorta, maybe, a little). Deer season opened Monday here in NJ and in the weirdest of cosmic convergences we had a deer running through our hallways – no shit. Apparently it had made it's way from the woods nearby to the school grounds and a parent dropping a child off spooked it and it went right through a window and was running through the halls before finally getting back outside. Quite a way to start the week… Then been immersed in finishing up projects such as writing curriculum and putting the final touches on this course I was taking (our high school is going to become part of the Virtual high school system so our students can take courses online. I agreed to be a teacher – I teach a class of 15 students from all over and then in trade 15 of our students can take a course). So for the last 10 weeks I was taking the VHS required course to go through how to setup the course I will...

Getting through – kinda, sorta, hey look another day gone – um yay or maybe boo and drat perhaps it will be I don’t know or perhaps some of the I don’t care….. what response will I find coming from my lips today???? Mom – Bobbie Jo's playing in the turkey… gawd I miss you so much mom – funny how this holiday that is about family and thanks and being together is when you decided to check out – I keep telling myself and listening to others that say it'll get better and in a way yeah, it does and in another way – still feels as raw today as it did those years ago when you left I saw Rent on Thanksgiving (combined with my 4 mile walk along the Atlantic city boardwalk that was my holiday… decided even to pas really on the eating bit – just had some simple crackers and cheese and such – simple but worked… a mantra that gets a lot of people through the day). But back to the movie - luckily there were only a handful of people in the theater and everyone in front. I think I cried ever...

Looked up this morning and discovered bubbles across the ceiling of my bedroom about 2 inches wide and about so far two - 4our feet total length. So at 6:30am in the morning (yes it has been raining the last few days) I am crawling around in my unfinished attic (it is mainly the pink insulation furry crap laid down and a few boards in a few spots so I can store some crap up there. I find water is dripping down a metal exhaust pipe and then when the pipe bends the water drips onto the board, pink insulation and thus collects under the insulation bubbling the paint in my ceiling below (I have not pulled up the insulation or boards yet to look at the damage but I know the water is collecting because I see the bubble in my bedroom ceiling.) Plus my one bin was wet and the one area in the board and the insulation. So a bucket is now sitting up there and I will explore further later today when I think I can approach things with out losing it. It has been a bad few weeks and this is just...

Alright - crap is just getting too much too me and the "I don't care and don't want to do anything and nothing matters" feeling is growing too much and consuming too much of my mind. Since I am not going to get to visit sisters and Arizona until March or April - and work is stressing me out, got some feelings and issues to try and sort out along with a myriad of other things are piling up leading to the great gray blahs - I have decided road trip is in order. And to help me focus on something else I am starting to seriously plan. I just would like to actually have someone or someones along just to make it more fun, a little safer and more adventurous (and maybe even cheaper - lol). But seriously, I'm going anyway so motels, gas, admission stuff like that is ON ME - I just need one of my friends available either the week between Christmas and New Year or the week after New Year's. Destination: I picked the Memphis area I went to Nashville for a conference i...

Mind to Bind class was GREAT - we are teaching/discussing Writing environmens and told writers need. We first showed pictures of different environments and had them reflect on what was good/bad. We had them go to two more environments today. One was the Natural Marine Sciences career class - that is a great class as he has fish tanks and all sorts of things and he let us come in so he is lecturing and the students are distracted by the fish tanks and ponds and it was cold and very smelly and it was great. Then we took them outside and they were cold because most did not think to bring jackets - and there was no place to write so they were making student chains writing on each other's backs and stuff, plus they had to write 3 sentences before going back in - it was great. They really liked comparing - Monday we will have them design their ideal place. But teaching that, and then I had back to back to back to back teachers coming in every period for training and each period was ...

More What Ifs A song by J. Stratton What do you do if someone tells you they wanna see you? What do you do if they tell you they want one last fling? What do you do if they tell you just one last fling before they die? What ifs follow pathways, what ifs are the pathways They drive us crazy, circling the truth They take us places, dragging us kicking and screaming What if I said yes What if I said no What if I stay What if you go Free will sucks, free will rocks, free will traps our hearts, minds, souls Is free will really so free? What do you do if someone tells you that they want to be good to you? What do you do if they want to be good as it is the last memory they are making? What do you do if they are going away and need one last moment? What ifs follow pathways, what ifs are the pathways They drive us crazy, circling the truth They take us places, dragging us kicking and screaming What if I said yes What if I said no What if I stay What if you go Free will sucks, free will rocks, ...

You know the saying when life hands you lemons, make lemonade… well there's kinda something missing there that they never tell you in trying to be all cheery and looking at brightside – lemonade tastes pretty sour and still makes you make faces unless you add sugar and if life is handing you lemons it usually ain't giving out free sugar too…. So the lemonade principle is flawed And I kinda feel that way about life right now – flawed and missing ingredients – I'm still cooking, getting along, got even some good parts – like started the Mind to Bind theme for the year today that I have been working on and that got accepted and recognized as a good program and I will be presenting at a major conference in May about it –and it is a fun unit – And hey a certain 5 year old always makes me crack up - like telling this 17 year old boy who was teasing her and asked if he was still her boyfriend and she says nope you out go to the back of the line (I am told by my ex those were her e...

OH man, oh fucking awesome man... Oh man, did I say fucking awesome? Yes my mood is hyper, chipper and energized at least for the moment. I went to a Cyndi Lauper concert at the Taj Casino tonight. It was a live TV taping for VH1 Decades Rock specials – this one was a tribute to Cyndi. It was cool cause she had a neat set and had guests to sing with her – so not just her but others and damn and oh man and yeah it was good. I was an idiot up and dancing the whole time but who cares. I had pretty good seats and only had obstructed views a few times. And again I was on my feet and the thing lasted just about three hours but man I had fun. So the stage was cool with this neat ramp all the way around – which Cyndi and others used the whole time. In fact she was ALL over and into the crowd and on chairs and oh it was so fucking awesome. Alright… so the Hooters opened and man I like there songs. Then Cyndi came out and she did a couple of songs and brought out Shaggy. He was great and...

Whew - busy today looks like we may be keeping this one program - but it was never done correctly here so I am working to get things rolling to really try and make it work (major cheerleading and doing the social thing and going into areas I do not feel comfortable with - who wants to step up and volunteer to be my bitch buddy? lol - someone I can go to when I am about to puke or geeting worried or overworked or upset and they can give me a smack in the butt and say - hey look at all the good - hang in there - so any takers ;-) Looks like I am going to Chicago to the Reading Conference - April 30 - May 4 - I am presenting this cool project we are doing Mind to Bind - following the written word from the author to the publisher. The conference is huge and I have never been to Chicago and only been to Illinois once before (got to visit Lincoln's birthplace during a Coal conference - haha yes when I was doing my Geology work I went to a Coal conference because I had to focus on coal...

Okay so Ma Ya Hi F. Lucas Prata song still firmly in my head and no idea why. I need to find someone to be a Picasso for (as refered to in the song). It is such a funny song - I mean buying pants to match color of love - damn I like that line and it is funny - plus been in dance mood and it is a bouncy song... ok back to listening to the beat and dancing when no one is looking - lol - hmmm let me find the lyrics so you can see how messed up my brain is that this song is actually stuck and pleasing my brain - hahahahaha PS - regarding the title - anyone remember from an earlier blog of mine what an earworm is - well in reference to this blog post? You get bonus points if you actually know, read my blog other times and special bonus if you actually read my earlier blogs and remember what i said - HAHAHAHa :P Ma-Ya-Hi Ma-Ya-Hu Ma-Ya-Ho Ma-Ya-Ha Ha Ma-Ya-Hi Ma-Ya-Hu Ma-Ya-Ho Ma-Ya-Ha Ha Hello, Salute, it’s me, you're a Duke And I made something that’s real To show you how I feel Hel...

Same ole song just a different day :-D Yes I do not like November. It is not the month per se but that shit always happens in this time of the year and no matter how hard I try to stay chipper, reminders pop up that pull me down. So I end up like an idiotic feeling off, crappy, blue, crying about stuff that gets me down or sitting on the couch staring at nothing and thinking about everything My mom died on Thanksgiving I got told I could not earn my PhD and should be happy I was "allowed" to get my Masters Divorce will be final reminding me how alone I really am I lost one of my best friends (considering I had just three and lost two (ok I admit more than best friend I was in love with her – you know I have loved two people and hey they both went away and left me – sigh and I really do not have that many friends as it is) And there are other things that have occurred in this month All lead to making it very easy to pull up the chair to the pity party table. Which of course so...

Well I am here in hurricane recovering Miami for the NAF conference – I am finding the conference so far to be good but lots of questions from the teachers and if we do this lots of work for me to do… I am already designing brochures and forms and typing up emails and all sorts of things. I want this program to go through if it helps the teachers and students but I it also means more work for me :-/ I find this idea of business model vs education model to be hard sometimes. They talk about going out and talking to businesses and people and being outgoing – that is not me. If it were not for a deal I made with someone promising to try and be a little sociable and outgoing and have fun and not stress and work through being out of my element and feeling out of place I would be hiding in my room…. And you who tricked me into the deal – drat on you and thanks a lot for making me make a deal :-D I am sticking to my part are you sticking to yours?????? I like the ideas and curriculum and...