Just Tripping Along The Freakazoid

Nerves – turning you inside - out and loving it Yes I am an oxymoron on occasion ... a walking juxtaposition of characteristics. See I am in many ways an introvert, somewhat shy and not to keen on public speaking and being up in front of people, not too lusting after the limelight you could say. Even speaking to someone on the phone about something gives me pause and makes me go can I do this someway else... One reason why prefer the online world - low self esteem of my thoughts and contributions makes for not thinking I am the greatest person and so let me slink to back of room and a corner and just people watch - see there's where the counter feelings start creeping in - I am not anti-people, in fact love watching and being around people. Like going out, hanging out, listening and being in crowds - I do not need to be a hermit, or isolated, I just DO NOT LIKE TO SPEAK AND SHARE MY IDEAS. I get very scared and nervous is too tame a word (terrified, anxious, afraid, agitated, anno...

Well I am too busy Top Ten Ways You Know You Are a True Ditzy Blonde (I should collect a list of these for real - be embarrassing but funny as they have truth to them at least in my case) Number 1 – you walk around all day wearing a blouse that has a small v-neck collar line and a few buttons backwards Second full day back to work and it was full of getting ready for all sorts of things One was the Bridging Program (I am the Director meaning I run the silly show which is to spend three and a half weeks with 40 of our incoming 9th graders helping them with English/Math/Study Skills). I am copying everything from evaluation forms to study skill packets to staff hand books to pre tests, etc. Another was meeting with the QUILT team – went to Nashville with 6 other people including my boss this summer for three full days of training for this method of bringing higher level thinking skills into the classroom – everything from how you write questions to how you conduct question sessions in t...

Whew – typing as I travel down I-10. About 30 miles out on Sunday night from Tucson. Got caught in a traffic gridlock – sat still for about 30 minutes and contemplated how big my bladder could really stretch. Of course going into the dark desert with truckers and others just sitting there and who knows what kinda snakes, bugs, scorpions etc made me go zen and make it until we started moving again. Well Vegas was cool and crapped – and not the dice game. My three sisters were pissy with each other coming into this trip – mainly two – well Hurray now all three pissy with each other including the sister that seems to tolerate everything and tries to play peacemaker. Of course she is about 7 months pregnant and damn and whoo wheeeee the hormone monster bitch came out in Vegas – I even told her off once – whew – and of course I am sharing the hotel room with them and get caught at 3:30 in the morning in a major fight between her and her husband – that was oh so fun lying in dark listeni...

Whew – drove up on Thursday with one sister and her family. We stopped at the London Bridge in Lake Havasu Arizona and then I got to see the Hoover dam – that was cool except my sister doing damn dam jokes the entire time – lol Got to Vegas late and after checking into the Stratosphere we headed out to hit the Sahara Buffet - it was interesting walking to the casino for dinner. It is only asbout two blocks from hotel but the Strato is on the very very end of the strip so we saw a lot of interesting things in that short walk. First we had three young boys ages 3 – 9 and there are all these girlie magazines and these like, um, Hooker Ho trading cards (they are like baseball cards in size and are stiff like playing cards. They have pictures of women in NC17 poses and positions with phone numbers for a good time call type thing – ads for services) well these are EVERYWHERE 100s just on the ground, sticking in newsstands, at bus stops, anywhere they could be stuck they were sticked. ...

Wowzers, Julie's summer concert tour continues - lol Finished visiting Graceland and Memphis and pulled into Opryland and Nashville for the high schools that work conference. Highlights there included presenting first workshop that had 60 seats we handed out 100 handouts and had people standing on shoulders to get in - I was so nervous I almost puked but we managed to get them up and moving - I got to boss all these people around and sounded smart doing it. Next presentation was the Titanic presentation (not on the titanic it was on how our school used the programs to succeed) I am referring to a workshop that had me highly strung out. I was told the Friday before we left that I would be presenting. I was given a handout not with the whole powerpoint but only my slides. We never ONCE practiced the presentation as a group and I later learned the others did not even do a total formal run through. Once there I learned we had 53 slides, four with video clips and many with music an...

Road Trippin Along Highlights -- Lightening bug swarm making me think I am taking off into hyperspace (driving through NJ cow country and that was so totally cool – I was zooming – made me think of time I first saw lightening bugs in Ohio visiting grandma – Arizona too hot really for them) -- Eating hominy and yummy southern food at the Casey Jones museum and restaurant -- Seeing Aardvark roadkill (yes you read that right and no I can not believe I saw that either – all stiff and weird that is now the weirdest roadkill I have ever seen - tops the deer someone stuck tennis shoes on) -- 20 hours driving straight through on the road and no hallucinations or mass murder tendencies – goooooooo meeeeeeeee -- Not too much rain – only saw about three arks floating by :-D -- Going to sleep at 5pm (cause of long drive) and getting up at 11 to find bed next to mine not slept in and the person I came down with nowhere in sight (she is sitting in the van we drive parked outside the room even as we ...

Whew running around like crazy - leave tomorrow (glances at clock) - oh shit that's today - lol leave today at 6pm - 18 hour car drive lies ahead and down from five people in car to two - hehe I guess my music selection and such scared them away (actually my heart goes out to the three who had life rear up bite them big time on the ass and leave them having to deal with the drudge of living instead of going to the conference - hugs to you dave, donna, adaliz you will be missed) watching weather channel - the first stop is Memphis (going to conference in Nashville but when so close to a very important place music wise and you love music as much as I do - you gotta stop... um well you don't gotta stop but I do – lol – feed that hunger for music anyway I can ;-) So headed to Memphis and Graceland - then Tuesday heading to Nashville for conference number one - High schools that Work - presenting almost everyday (Wednesday - Friday - lucked out and have no Saturday morning presenta...

Well had to walk outta Fantastic Four cause T had a fit and I was having one too cause not in the best o' moods – while waiting in the lobby before the movie got a call from a person I work with. She was scheduled to go to Nashville conference (supposed to leave Sunday), present with me and others on about three or four workshops – also she is a fun person to hang with (major fun one really going that I know from work) add to that she was supposed to help drive down (three of us were scheduled to drive down). Personally I do not mind the driving but I do not really know the other person so now that will be odd. Plus she was the one who was interested in going to Graceland with me so prolly will not do that cause the other person was going to come with us cause well we were all driving together but since she was not to interested, prolly just drive straight down Plus the reason she can not come is her ex is being shitty to her, life is being shitty to her and she is an emotional w...

Sometimes You Just Wish It Wouldn't bu J. Stratton July, 2005 Sometimes you look into the black night Peering into the cold Cold why is it cold No it is not cold Cold is what we think we feel when we touch When we seek And are denied So we feel cold rage Biting against the shame Rushing against the frustration Sometimes you look into the black night Escape is the plan Or maybe this time it is to hide And there are those who go to play Playing to dare to touch When we seek And are immersed So we feel the playing leer Stroking the immense shame Gorging the frustration Sometimes you look into the black night Warm flush trickles down Starting with the eyes as they seek Flowing down the body like a flame cleansing Cleansing what we feel when we touch When we seek And are accepted So we feel cleansing relief Coating over the shame Masking the frustration Frustration will survive forever Shame its bastard sister For a brief moment we understand And it hurts When we seek Understanding of ...

Had a nice time yesterday - wrote some kicking posts (really liking a couple of my characters of late for a few of the RPGs) Wasted time trying to figure out this silly game called Crimson Room then slept in some After getting up headed down to Tropicana Casino and hit the IMAX theater for the first time and saw Batman Begins - KICK ASS movie - wanna see it again and liked the setup - thought the characters were good and seeing it at the IMAX made it all that much better. After that headed to another casino - Trump Marina and saw my favorite cover band Fuzzy Bunny Slippers - rocked to their tunes (they cover anything 60s - today country, rap, pop, rock, they are just fuckin' awesome can not say enough about them) They will be in the area Thursday and may try to see them. Then went home and got some sleep. Today started with my boardwalk 2 mile walk - I so gotta get back to exercising and losing weight - and then some odd errands here and there and vegging. Got Anastacia DvD of her ...

Heya just wrote a little something - put it up at my other writing web site too http://www.fictionpress.com/~docwho2100 and will be up at my fanfic site soon too http://mywebpages.comcast.net/jstratton1/ Here is the story The Delete Key Ah the little grey or white key or perhaps if you own a designer keyboard a mauve or turquoise key, but anyways the little DEL or delete key. The comic relief in many situations such as the classic joke in "Buffy the Vampire slayer" when a character thinks DEL means deliver and trashes her whole project. The power to undo what has been done. The key that so many had no idea what it meant so some manufacturers actually spell out the name, Hmm wonder what mine… I have both – delete and on the number pad it is DEL. Wonder what that key says in other places Borre, effacer, Löschen Sie, cancella, Schrap, anule, удалить, stryk, 删除 Ah my little BOR key. Ok, ok, I get it, I am stalling, rambling on about a very stupid topic. And why you ask? Okay you...