Just Tripping Along The Freakazoid

an entry about something I like and something I hate I was driving today to drop off T at my ex's (I had an enjoyable morning playing Dragons and Princesses and the like in a park playground and anyone watching would have had a hard time finding the adult in the crowd – lol) I love playgrounds and was all over the equipment as much as the 5 year old and other kids :-D Tire swings, wooden draw bridges that bounce and all sorts of slides – ooooooooo I drool... yes I like to play – hehe Anyhoo – as I was driving - I passed an Episcopal church. There were three bagpipers out front playing bagpipes and as I passed I realized from the hearse and other cues, it was a funeral. And that got me to thinking about that particular event. Actually been thinking about death and similar subjects for a bit – Thanks to a sister and her actions of late, a whole bunch of nightmares and very depressing dreams of late and throw in the fact I tend to get into a very blue funk this time of year anyw...

Hey sisters - remember this trip? http://home.comcast.net/~docwho2000/index.htm Can not wait to go somewhere and have some more fun (just a couple of weeks) - will post pictures of crazy adventures - I promise :)

Wow – made it through the work week – I actually still have projects to complete and will end up being busy next week (on the plus side I was asked by a national organization to be on a committee to redo their curriculum – that's cool that they want to have me help…) – luckily only three days of work and only about 20 people in the whole building (only 12 month staff have to come in next week and then a number of them take off). Plus the tech department is taking the server down much of the week for upgrades – so – even though easy week it will still have lots of cleaning projects (and lots of office chair relays down the empty halls – wheeeeeeeeeeeeee) But then I have from the 30th through Jan. 9 off – I took a long vacation. Still working on what exactly to do during that vacation…. Better be something fun and more than hanging around cleaning and maybe painting or such – blech who needs work and home improvement when there is fun to be had, I just know it is out there… it is c...

I have been messing around with MySpace - I need to get the software used to program different blogging programs - and no I am not talking about the HTML stuff - I need to learn a bit more about the blogging software that actually creates the environment as a lot of busimesses now create their own intrablog system. I also need to learn more of the programming code and such used for fax machine and cellphone interaction with the web - would be good to know for the different classes here at the school (the computer tech, business tech, graphic art and marketing career classes all touch on these subjects somewhat) plus I am curious about how to program things for those items. I really need to stop being so absent minded - I found I had put my bag of tortilla chips in the fridge instead of the cupboard as well as a few other very spacy and dorky activities I have caught myself doing :0D Work was incredibly busy - I thought the week before xmas break was supposed to be easy - everyone keep...

Well coloring can be a very chimerical as well as soothing and tranquil activity. Of course putting together the spongebob color it yourself pineapple house which tells you to insert tab a into tab b and you spend 2 hours trying that only to finally figure out it should be tab c into tab 5 undoes the calm you had collected - but hey I like coloring ;-D Well did my long walk yesterday albeit in a different place (walking around the neighborhoods adjacent to my car place as I waited for an oil change and for them to check it as I had run something over - luckily it only needed an alignment - I managed to get out of there with a few bucks still in my pocket). But as I was walking I was listening to Madonna's new CD and thinking - the song (lyrics below) really swirled my mind. Couple that with my journals I have been rereading, the thoughts I have been thinking and then smother it all with the nightmares and dreams I seem to be experiencing here lately and well…. Dreams I should add...

Thank you nikki - sometimes the little things mean the most - the box came at the right time - you are awesome and a great person - thanks for making my day a lot better :-D

check story page for other chapters http://mywebpages.comcast.net/jstratton1/storywebsite/index.htm Chapter 3 of Hunter/Tracker series Fill of Love Time: Before the current story time She'd been staring, no mesmerized, actually maybe leering would be an even better descriptor. Ever since Barbara has removed the injured woman's jacket and blouse leaving her in her bloodied silk bra, Sherri had not wavered or moved from the side of the bed as she gazed down at Jaden. "Sherri.." pause "Sherri!" longer pause no sound comes from the room "Hunter!" The sharp staccato sound of the Guder's voice coupled with her code name drew her attention, somewhat, as she looked over at Barbara. "I said I need to get a few more items, it looks like the bullet only grazed her shoulder and should only require a few stitches. Can you check her over to make sure she has no other injuries besides the bullet wound and the knot where you hit her," Barbara pa...

Just a short note (yes I know people are shaking their heads not sure they read(heard) that right). Trying to keep afloat in the end of the year, semester and everything times. And finding it extremely hard to do that well. So searching for ways to do that properly, successfully and basically without so much hurt and other non-happy thoughts. Have an office party tomorrow - my boss holds it every year for her department - which I can not attend because I have to attend an all day workshop on bringing AP Science classes to our school - story of my life right now (not that I have a social life anyhoo - lol). Damn I like to write I need to write better chapters for that story... but finished wrapping the pollyanna goft for the party - I went with making a stress relief kit full of wacky stuff. silly stuff and very nonpractical - ironic in that i could probably stand to use the kit myself - ah well

Okay just got back from a bus trip to New York City and call me crazy – I fucking love that place. Some of the people asked on the trip – would you really consider living in the city and yeah, I would. The people, culture, crowds, incredible amount of things to do and see and hear and smell and touch and taste. If I did not have to worry about certain things… The trip was good – the bus dropped the group off about 3 hours before the musical. A small group of us walked around loking at Times Square – went to see the tree and all the craziness there – spongebob, Grinch, Scooby Doo, santa, hello kitty and other characters were all walking around – if I had a camera I so would have had my picture taken. Then we ate at this deli where up stairs this weird person kept falling asleep at this table but in between times when they like zoned out, they would come awake and were counting a lot of money, but the money was hidden on a chair - I could se it form my seat and they had a cell phone tex...

A couple of definitions to begin phobia n. A persistent, abnormal, and irrational fear of a specific thing or situation that compels one to avoid it, despite the awareness and reassurance that it is not dangerous. A strong fear, dislike, or aversion. Source: The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition Copyright 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. ------------------------------- -phobia suff. An intense, abnormal, or illogical fear of a specified thing: xenophobia. [Late Latin, from Greek -phobi, from phobos, fear. See bhegw- in Indo-European Roots.] Source: The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition ------------------------------------ phobia n. A persistent, abnormal, or irrational fear of a specific thing or situation that compels one to avoid the feared stimulus. Source: The American Heritage Stedman's Medical Dictionary -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Main Entry: pho·bia ...

Well getting back into swing of things – mostly. School was fun last couple of days (NOT – well sorta, maybe, a little). Deer season opened Monday here in NJ and in the weirdest of cosmic convergences we had a deer running through our hallways – no shit. Apparently it had made it's way from the woods nearby to the school grounds and a parent dropping a child off spooked it and it went right through a window and was running through the halls before finally getting back outside. Quite a way to start the week… Then been immersed in finishing up projects such as writing curriculum and putting the final touches on this course I was taking (our high school is going to become part of the Virtual high school system so our students can take courses online. I agreed to be a teacher – I teach a class of 15 students from all over and then in trade 15 of our students can take a course). So for the last 10 weeks I was taking the VHS required course to go through how to setup the course I will...

Getting through – kinda, sorta, hey look another day gone – um yay or maybe boo and drat perhaps it will be I don’t know or perhaps some of the I don’t care….. what response will I find coming from my lips today???? Mom – Bobbie Jo's playing in the turkey… gawd I miss you so much mom – funny how this holiday that is about family and thanks and being together is when you decided to check out – I keep telling myself and listening to others that say it'll get better and in a way yeah, it does and in another way – still feels as raw today as it did those years ago when you left I saw Rent on Thanksgiving (combined with my 4 mile walk along the Atlantic city boardwalk that was my holiday… decided even to pas really on the eating bit – just had some simple crackers and cheese and such – simple but worked… a mantra that gets a lot of people through the day). But back to the movie - luckily there were only a handful of people in the theater and everyone in front. I think I cried ever...

Looked up this morning and discovered bubbles across the ceiling of my bedroom about 2 inches wide and about so far two - 4our feet total length. So at 6:30am in the morning (yes it has been raining the last few days) I am crawling around in my unfinished attic (it is mainly the pink insulation furry crap laid down and a few boards in a few spots so I can store some crap up there. I find water is dripping down a metal exhaust pipe and then when the pipe bends the water drips onto the board, pink insulation and thus collects under the insulation bubbling the paint in my ceiling below (I have not pulled up the insulation or boards yet to look at the damage but I know the water is collecting because I see the bubble in my bedroom ceiling.) Plus my one bin was wet and the one area in the board and the insulation. So a bucket is now sitting up there and I will explore further later today when I think I can approach things with out losing it. It has been a bad few weeks and this is just...

Alright - crap is just getting too much too me and the "I don't care and don't want to do anything and nothing matters" feeling is growing too much and consuming too much of my mind. Since I am not going to get to visit sisters and Arizona until March or April - and work is stressing me out, got some feelings and issues to try and sort out along with a myriad of other things are piling up leading to the great gray blahs - I have decided road trip is in order. And to help me focus on something else I am starting to seriously plan. I just would like to actually have someone or someones along just to make it more fun, a little safer and more adventurous (and maybe even cheaper - lol). But seriously, I'm going anyway so motels, gas, admission stuff like that is ON ME - I just need one of my friends available either the week between Christmas and New Year or the week after New Year's. Destination: I picked the Memphis area I went to Nashville for a conference i...

Mind to Bind class was GREAT - we are teaching/discussing Writing environmens and told writers need. We first showed pictures of different environments and had them reflect on what was good/bad. We had them go to two more environments today. One was the Natural Marine Sciences career class - that is a great class as he has fish tanks and all sorts of things and he let us come in so he is lecturing and the students are distracted by the fish tanks and ponds and it was cold and very smelly and it was great. Then we took them outside and they were cold because most did not think to bring jackets - and there was no place to write so they were making student chains writing on each other's backs and stuff, plus they had to write 3 sentences before going back in - it was great. They really liked comparing - Monday we will have them design their ideal place. But teaching that, and then I had back to back to back to back teachers coming in every period for training and each period was ...

More What Ifs A song by J. Stratton What do you do if someone tells you they wanna see you? What do you do if they tell you they want one last fling? What do you do if they tell you just one last fling before they die? What ifs follow pathways, what ifs are the pathways They drive us crazy, circling the truth They take us places, dragging us kicking and screaming What if I said yes What if I said no What if I stay What if you go Free will sucks, free will rocks, free will traps our hearts, minds, souls Is free will really so free? What do you do if someone tells you that they want to be good to you? What do you do if they want to be good as it is the last memory they are making? What do you do if they are going away and need one last moment? What ifs follow pathways, what ifs are the pathways They drive us crazy, circling the truth They take us places, dragging us kicking and screaming What if I said yes What if I said no What if I stay What if you go Free will sucks, free will rocks, ...

You know the saying when life hands you lemons, make lemonade… well there's kinda something missing there that they never tell you in trying to be all cheery and looking at brightside – lemonade tastes pretty sour and still makes you make faces unless you add sugar and if life is handing you lemons it usually ain't giving out free sugar too…. So the lemonade principle is flawed And I kinda feel that way about life right now – flawed and missing ingredients – I'm still cooking, getting along, got even some good parts – like started the Mind to Bind theme for the year today that I have been working on and that got accepted and recognized as a good program and I will be presenting at a major conference in May about it –and it is a fun unit – And hey a certain 5 year old always makes me crack up - like telling this 17 year old boy who was teasing her and asked if he was still her boyfriend and she says nope you out go to the back of the line (I am told by my ex those were her e...

OH man, oh fucking awesome man... Oh man, did I say fucking awesome? Yes my mood is hyper, chipper and energized at least for the moment. I went to a Cyndi Lauper concert at the Taj Casino tonight. It was a live TV taping for VH1 Decades Rock specials – this one was a tribute to Cyndi. It was cool cause she had a neat set and had guests to sing with her – so not just her but others and damn and oh man and yeah it was good. I was an idiot up and dancing the whole time but who cares. I had pretty good seats and only had obstructed views a few times. And again I was on my feet and the thing lasted just about three hours but man I had fun. So the stage was cool with this neat ramp all the way around – which Cyndi and others used the whole time. In fact she was ALL over and into the crowd and on chairs and oh it was so fucking awesome. Alright… so the Hooters opened and man I like there songs. Then Cyndi came out and she did a couple of songs and brought out Shaggy. He was great and...

Whew - busy today looks like we may be keeping this one program - but it was never done correctly here so I am working to get things rolling to really try and make it work (major cheerleading and doing the social thing and going into areas I do not feel comfortable with - who wants to step up and volunteer to be my bitch buddy? lol - someone I can go to when I am about to puke or geeting worried or overworked or upset and they can give me a smack in the butt and say - hey look at all the good - hang in there - so any takers ;-) Looks like I am going to Chicago to the Reading Conference - April 30 - May 4 - I am presenting this cool project we are doing Mind to Bind - following the written word from the author to the publisher. The conference is huge and I have never been to Chicago and only been to Illinois once before (got to visit Lincoln's birthplace during a Coal conference - haha yes when I was doing my Geology work I went to a Coal conference because I had to focus on coal...

Okay so Ma Ya Hi F. Lucas Prata song still firmly in my head and no idea why. I need to find someone to be a Picasso for (as refered to in the song). It is such a funny song - I mean buying pants to match color of love - damn I like that line and it is funny - plus been in dance mood and it is a bouncy song... ok back to listening to the beat and dancing when no one is looking - lol - hmmm let me find the lyrics so you can see how messed up my brain is that this song is actually stuck and pleasing my brain - hahahahaha PS - regarding the title - anyone remember from an earlier blog of mine what an earworm is - well in reference to this blog post? You get bonus points if you actually know, read my blog other times and special bonus if you actually read my earlier blogs and remember what i said - HAHAHAHa :P Ma-Ya-Hi Ma-Ya-Hu Ma-Ya-Ho Ma-Ya-Ha Ha Ma-Ya-Hi Ma-Ya-Hu Ma-Ya-Ho Ma-Ya-Ha Ha Hello, Salute, it’s me, you're a Duke And I made something that’s real To show you how I feel Hel...

Same ole song just a different day :-D Yes I do not like November. It is not the month per se but that shit always happens in this time of the year and no matter how hard I try to stay chipper, reminders pop up that pull me down. So I end up like an idiotic feeling off, crappy, blue, crying about stuff that gets me down or sitting on the couch staring at nothing and thinking about everything My mom died on Thanksgiving I got told I could not earn my PhD and should be happy I was "allowed" to get my Masters Divorce will be final reminding me how alone I really am I lost one of my best friends (considering I had just three and lost two (ok I admit more than best friend I was in love with her – you know I have loved two people and hey they both went away and left me – sigh and I really do not have that many friends as it is) And there are other things that have occurred in this month All lead to making it very easy to pull up the chair to the pity party table. Which of course so...

Well I am here in hurricane recovering Miami for the NAF conference – I am finding the conference so far to be good but lots of questions from the teachers and if we do this lots of work for me to do… I am already designing brochures and forms and typing up emails and all sorts of things. I want this program to go through if it helps the teachers and students but I it also means more work for me :-/ I find this idea of business model vs education model to be hard sometimes. They talk about going out and talking to businesses and people and being outgoing – that is not me. If it were not for a deal I made with someone promising to try and be a little sociable and outgoing and have fun and not stress and work through being out of my element and feeling out of place I would be hiding in my room…. And you who tricked me into the deal – drat on you and thanks a lot for making me make a deal :-D I am sticking to my part are you sticking to yours?????? I like the ideas and curriculum and...

Well not much going on for halloween weekend really - eh I think I will dress up for work on monday at least - I am going as a dork thing - a yellow smiley face that has vampire teeth. That should make me look all official as I have a couple of meetings and training sessions. "Yes we are instituting this new curriculum for our Exploratory class and stop giggling at my costume, I am being serious here damnit people...." :-D I love using smiles and emoticons - anyone who chats with me online and even in my blogs knows I love the smiley - I actually have this whole complicated hierarchy setup - no shit - online communication lacks so much. Yet people develop speech and mood/feeling patterns in cyberspace just as they do in real life. Just harder to catch and you have to be very observant... I mean down to how many times they use prepositions or conjunctions, how they type out slang, contractions, what greeting they use, how many times they say ok vs eh or ah or such…. and s...

The sunlight streamed in through the slatted blinds casting shadows and random patterns of light on the dark blue comforter. The body nestled underneath began to stir and the lump shifted shape. The calico balled up at one end of the lump yawned and then kneaded through the covering some in protest as the movements became more pronounced and threatened to upset the cat. An arm snaked out and languidly moved to rest in an empty space. It then patted the bed as if in confusion and began patting a pathway up until it hit a pillow where it stopped. "Sherri?" A muffled voice tried to get through from beneath the comforter. A tussled tawny colored head peeked up and repeated the word, "Sherri?" "Oh yeah." Was the follow up saddened reply after a moment as the owner of the voice became more aware of her surroundings. Pulling deep back under the covers, the form balled up into a tighter, smaller lump and stopped all movement save for a tiny shaking in one a...

I think modifying the Green Day song "Wake Me When September Ends" by subbing November in for September would be good right about now. The couch has been more and more my chosen place of residence… and the sleep is shifting once again… I gotta really watch myself. I made it through another administrator workshop… I get very nervous – like tummy all upset and in puke mode. Plus tomorrow – well later today at work I have to take on a lead, assertive role and as I admitted to a co-worker yesterday that is one part of the job and if I move in the direction my boss wants me to, future job that I have problems with. I can lead and create and come up with ideas and how to implement… but I tend to be very shy, introvert and non-assertive. Someone going into an administrative position needs those qualities but also needs more backbone and to be sure of themselves… I have a major character flaw, as we all do… But one of my many flaws (and I say that not in a dissing myself way but ...

So is this really happening? Should it be happening? What's the definition of free speech again? http://truetales.org/writings/breakingnews05.htm

http://www.usatoday.com/tech/columnist/aprilholladay/2005-10-24-ice-spikes_x.htm now if I could solve the mystery of how to find someone to drag to the next silly thing I wanna do - lol :-P

Evolution – Change Through Time Argue if you will about certain points regarding evolution – the major concept is sound – things change over time – regardless of how hard they try and fight this natural order… I was sitting outside the Catholic school waiting to teach my workshop this morning. Just sitting in the car looking at the side of the building, the rainy clouds about to spill and collecting my thoughts to prepare for the workshop. There was this dead sparrow on the sidewalk in front of the building near my car… I really ha barely noticed it, pretty much ignored it. As I thought over the topic (teaching them the basics of web design) a big, big black crow swoops down and I watch it pick up the sparrow to take it away. It juggled with the smaller bird a few moments before getting a good angle with its beak, other crows suddenly appeared watching the process (much like seagulls flock when someone throws fries out the window at the local by the shore McDonalds). Even from death th...

Throwing the keys on the counter Jaden ripped her jacket off and threw it at the nearest piece of furniture. She closed her eyes a minute just listening to the sounds from the apartment hoping she wasn't alone again for the night. Sighing she opened her eyes just as a shadow streaked across the counter tearing into her keys. Thrusting her hands out in reflex, Jaden screamed and jumped back, tripping on her jacket which had slid off the vinyl chair. Breathing hard, unable to hear anything but her beating heart, she looked up and after a moment began laughing. "Shit Mr FancyPants. What the hell are you doing? Taking a page from Sheri's book I see." She shifted on the floor stretching her legs out actually glad to be resting. She'd been unable to even get a seat on the bus, ridership had been up as had the gas prices making it tougher to find a resting spot for her 44 minute commute one way to and from her job. Wiggling her legs around she looked at the apartme...