some road trip observations

Whew – I made it

Spent about 26 hours on the road driving over 1000 miles down to Orlando – it would not have taken me quite as much time, but the traffic was baddddd in a few places I literally managed about 20 miles an hour at best.

Plus I needed a little sleep – so I did pull off and stop at a few rest stops for cat naps. Add in my small bladder and the fact I tend to drink more on a road trip as it helps with the driving and such.

Saw a lot of neat stuff on the trip – there was a bathroom experience – whew – just remind me never to go off the beaten path or further then two feet from the Interstate regardless of how bad I have to go….

It is interesting the way rest stops are designed - I also found the pattern of where they were were part predictable - always one right after crossing a state line and totally, why did they build two 40 miles between sometimes and 70 or more other times - I also liked watching the different trucks and what they were hauling.

Did pack in a couple hours at Universal – which was cool – it was not as busy as I thought. But the weather so far is great and much warmer than NJ, which is one of a few reasons why I headed south

I also needed a place that offered me a long drive so I could think about some things – it would have been nice to have company – one of the things on my list to think about – but I did manage to be able to sing as loud and off key I wanted and not worry about the hat hair and such I developed from sleeping in my car and such.

Enjoying all the people watching so far and the movie stuff at Universal – it is just amazing to watch couples, groups and families interacting and the dynamics of how they act in a situation – a lot like watching the cars as I drove, how the different cars jockeyed for position and read a situation and where they were going and came from and so on… so many patterns and details to see and explore and the most amazing part – when I focus on exploring those things, I forget for awhile the fact that I am exploring them alone and don’t have anyone to share what I find with afterwards…. But onwards and upwards always watching life : )

understatement

Man does that suck to be in Denver airport right now - to be stuck in an airport or such when trying to get home - also it is hard kinda for me to really grasp and understand how backed up something can get when it is still 3 days until Xmas and yet this clip says some people will not get to where they need to go - wow - brings home how reliant we are on certain thngs...

http://www.weather.com/multimedia/videoplayer.html?clip=4911&nav=84&collection=topstory&from=wxcenter_video

Wow one week before Xmas

Started sunday by taking little one to Storybook Land - this is a small place in Southern NJ that has a mixture of rides and storybook land character houses and things - it's been around for over 50 years and has that quaint charm - although little one likes the rolelr coaster (this time we only did it about 7 times including one 3 in a row stretch) and the tilt a whirl (also known as the "this is gonna make me hurl" - which I managed not to do). We saw Santa, saw the lights and visited every single character thing (she loves those almost as much as the thrill rides).

Monday i visited the doctor for follow up and received great news - my blood work was perfect - no sugar probs, no cholesteral and so on. The blood pressure was down too so only have to monitor that.

The rest of this week will be filled with grading, reports, training and assorted work as I round out the week before the holidays - then off until Jan. 3 - trying to cook something up to take advantage of my first long break since this semester began.

Worried about my youngest sister, she is having some tests done, she is also nto really talking to any of us and not wnating people to come with ehr on her doctor visits so don;t have the whole story :( playing the waiting game to see how bad it will be.......

trying this technorati tech thing

Technorati Profile

So Long I have forgotten

In the car this morning I was running over all the things I have to do today and in the near future

Stuff like.....


Create web page with SAT prep resources for teacher and student training
Teacher workshop - I am training teachers how to use their content to create SAT like questions to help students prepare
Get new FTP addy to upload pages
Prepare Bridging program report (summer program for incoming 9th graders I am the director for)
Prepare report on how students did on a questioning test
Get a blood test the doctor ordered
Get my blood pressure taken
Try to stop by the post office
Prepare tests for geology classes
Figure out grading for labs for my classes
Need to check the discussion board and grade drafts for the high school online class I am teaching
Need to pick up a scooter for xmas gift
Need to get a Pollyanna for work

Need to….

I realized in the car I always have projects waiting for me – no matter how hard I try and yes I complete things and yes the semester is winding down and yes… there always seems to be something waiting

I can't remember the last time I truly had nothing I had to get done….

Life is all about interactions and productions and such… sigh

Saw Spamalot on Broadway Saturday – IT WAS GREAT – I laughed a lot – a couple of the numbers were very stereotypical and did not laugh as much at those, but that actually was always a trademark of the Monty Python crew – they really did play to the stereotype – but they also had very good historical, political and satirical wit with major black, dark humor (See Life of Brian for the commentary and The Meaning of Life for black humor)

I also enjoyed the group I went with – we ate at this Irish pub and it was good.

Spent way too much time at Borders the other night – just stuck to the music section this time (although tried to find the book the Bell Jar – need to go online for that) – picked up a few things (Clerks II soundtrack, Aslyn, Saving Jane and AFI). There was more I listened to but my wallet is empty

Thinking of destinations down south to travel to – thinking since I am going alone again going to tried and true Orlando – it is a good drive and I know my way a little so it is not totally unfamiliar. Plus never been down there during a mad – crazy time – Yes I wanna spend three hours to ride a 6.445 minute Jaws ride – lmao – I'll bring a notebook with and write and such while in line :P

random thoughts

Ok so taking a brief break here at work listening to my live365 radio account

The last few songs
New Found Glory - It's Not Your Fault
13 Stories - Christmas Makes Me Hot
Evanescence - Weight of the World
Alanis Morissette - Crazy
Lostprophets - Rooftops
Carbon Leaf - Life Less Ordinary
Avril Lavigne - Keep Holding On


I listen to a lot of different types of radio stations through Live365 and like the variety it offers (where else can you find a radio station that broadcasts nothing but the different songs and such from different Disney theme park attractions – haha yes I know you are asking who would listen to that :-D

Finished my Alternate Route Education classes last night – no more of those until January. Now to make it through the rest of my classes and work. Two weeks

Then I took off the 23rd through the 2nd of January to recharge – I am not sure yet where I am going but I hope to do a bit of a road trip – anyone have suggestions or wanna join in – come along the more the merrier ;-D

My sisters are settling back to things – the trip to Arizona helped smooth some things – but I still worry about a number of things :(

I stopped into the doctor the other day – which is a major thing for me as I do not like doctors and this visit did nothing but reaffirm that. Don’t get me wrong – doctors are the most awesome people around – they save lives, deal with shit and have a stress filled life – like everyone else. I just get really weird with medical stuff.

Well I have a cold, no strep and the doctor found something to be concerned about and so prescribed medicine, more tests and I have to stop back in on the 18th to see what we do next… somehow the time between October and January just continues to bring bad stuff my way…

Put up some xmas decorations – my tree looks like a haphazard thing – lol – I'll have to put up some pictures – oh yeah I'll put up the pictures from the Arizona trip hopefully today/tomorrow – but I put out the animated stuff and then started decorating the tree – it is kinda a here and there thing and somehow the ornaments do not hang right and I could not get the branches out right so they clump (it is a 4 ft artificial tree) and it came prewrapped with lights and one set of them still do not work, have not worked for the last two years and I so need someone to figure out why. Ah well I just hang a lot of ornaments or attempt to in that area.

The blahs seem to be sticking around – I manage to scare them away here or there but they seem to remain in the background – not sure if when the semester finally ends if that will help or not.

Saturday going on a bus trip to New York to see Spamalot – that should be very kewl : )

I also got tickets for March for B.B. King and also I had to see Wicked when it comes to Philly, as I may have mentioned before, so I got the special four pack of tickets with Wicked being the fourth (I will also be seeing the Edward Scissorshand musical, Pippen and another production of Spamalot)

I love British Comedy a lot (I so need to rent Absolutely Fabulous and get my decadent fix) so the duplication of the musical is not a bad thing.

Not much else on the music front right now, but we shall see what I can slip out to see in the next few weeks.

Saw the movie Love, Actually the other day and cried a lot and laughed a lot. I am a sappy romantic sometimes and this movie just brought out the best and worst and the cast was awesome! I also really liked how they used music in the movie – again the British influence is just so grand in many cases.

I would love to get to go to London at least – some day… eh as long as I keep traveling that is a good thing.

Going to hopefully finally watch season 3 of the L Word (been staying away from spoilers so far) and there are a few others to rent. I wanna see Stranger Than Fiction as I love to write so much and For Your Consideration (I love Catherine O-Hara and those indie films that crew has been doing – still need to see Dog Show and a Mighty Wind though…)

Well back to the grind.

a song to show what I am thinking/feeling wishing

Never Alone - BarlowGirl

I waited for You today
But You didn't show
No.No.No
I needed You today
So where did you go?
You told me to call
Said You'd be there
And though I haven't seen You
Are You still here?

Chorus
I cry out with no reply and
I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone.

And though I cannot see You
and I can't explain why
Such a deep, deep reassurance
You've placed in my life oh
We cannot separate
'Cause You're part of me
and though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

Chorus
I cry out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone

We cannot separate
You're part of me
and though You're invisible
I trust the unseen

Chorus
I cry out with no reply
and I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone

Dreams and trip update

ok i wrote this while on my trip - I am now home and trying to get through a number of things - an update on those things later, maybe, if I can kick my ass out of the incredible low funk i have fallen into - but here's the earlier rambles nonetheless
-----

Ok – so I think there is something in the Arizona water – or this trip and being around my family if getting to me or I really am bonkers and it is just starting to really come out… but whatever the reason… man I had a bunch of weird dreams the last few days – this morning I had at least one which I remember very vividly.

I was in a car trying to park it in a parking garage. A very crowded and oddly configured garage – some parts outside, some covered. And I drove around a lot… then I probably slipped in and out of deeper sleep because there is a gap and then I remember from the dream that now I was walking or on a golf cart/bicycle thing. And I was trying to find a space. But check this – I’d walk or ride about one to two levels ahead looking – then go back, get my car and go up a couple of levels. Then walk ahead trying to find a space – it just started (and I am serious about this) it just started to occur to my dream self that if I did find a spot, how would I make sure it stayed open… I was thinking of putting a rock or something there when the dream hazed in and out and then I was back in the parking lot, but now there was this big playground in the middle and you could not drive through this part… so I guess my brain realized well how did the cars get on the other side, so then I found this McDonald’s like playground ride called a car carousal that you could put your car on and push off and get the car to the other side and continue looking for a parking spot.

What the hell that dream means I am not sure, especially since my other dreams have been about my mom, some things that have been happening with work, about the person I wish knew how much I liked them (and those dreams were an odd mix of one just me and her sitting on the couch watching a TV show and kinda leaning against one another and another dream, well no higher rating here) – but yeah I had even weirder dreams and I am like – ok brain is being extra funky…

Trip is going ok mostly – I started with a cold the day before I left and it is full blown now and I feel shitty, both physically and emotionally and such (long story – crappy November and a downer talk of sorts with Boss on Tuesday before I left leaving me very blah and down)….

But got to talk some already to all of my sisters and we managed dinner yesterday all together and then I hopped to a couple of sister’s houses today for thanksgiving and then wow all four sisters and out families were together to see Santa Clause 3 (which was n ok movie)

I did not get to do something I had planned on doing while here because I was sick -we may try for tomorrow – will have to see how that goes.

Tomorrow we also brave the wilds for some Early morning shopping and then maybe lunch down on 4th avenue. Then my one sister wants to take us to this place classed SantaTown up near Phoenix for the evening – whew…. We’ll see how much gets done

blooey busy

Phew - been keeping busy and yet not - hard to explain that

Let's see - some what's been going on things

finished reading Prozac Nation - I liked the book a lot - going to get a few of the books/movies she mentions in the book

Went to see Angels and Airwaves Saturday at the House of Blues - they and the two other bands - The Sounds and Envy On the Coast were great - plus had an encounter, so to speak, that I thought only happened on TV -

I was in the House of Blues's bathroom - I left before the encore to beat the rush - so no one was really in the upstairs bathroom - so I am in there and then two pairs of feet come into the stall next to me. No big deal - happens a lot especially towards the end of the show as people often a bit buzzed or such.

Well then I hear one person say, no way just stand there and then the second person goes, "I just wanna watch" - ok that gave me pause - not so much the words but the fact the voice was definitiely MALE - oookkkkk I am now trying to hurry along my bodily functions - there is a little more discussion between them about things and then, well, things moved from watching to a mroe active activity - the stall was shaking just a bit - phew-wheeee as I said - I'd only seen that happen in the TV world - lmao ;-)

Monday and today busy work wise as trying to get ready to go to Arizona on Wednesday - two of my sisters are still fighting and not speaking to one another and a bunch of other dramatic stuff.

My third sister who had just started at target already got a promotion and I am sure will end up in management eventually - she is a great person and a good worker

been trying to keep my mind off November blahs - that has been so so - my ex chose last week to go into some shit with me and it really hurt and got under my skin a lot...

been starting to think about road trip ideas for a road trip during the xmas break - if people have ideas - send them my way - thinking about an offbeat, eccentric america type thing, or haunted places or maybe go to a place that is too crowded and madness intentionally - like say Orlando or such.....

Holy Short midget Batman - There's a Name for My condition

It is official - I have ISS (I come in a bit under the height limits they mention in the article) - who knew - LMAO - although the driving a car thing is always an issue - as is those fricking top shelf items in the grocery story

although 50,000 per inch - I'd rather see that money go somewhere else IMO

ahhhhhhhh the wacky world

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2006-11-12-short-debate-cover_x.htm

when half an inch does not mean half and inch and jumping

Well - went to the hair place in the mall and told them half an inch. She confirmed, half an inch trim off the bottom. At the end I found her half inch meant two inches and now everyone says have a "cute" haircut - ugh

Plus I got a nice discussion on sushi - not that I really eat sushi.

Was listening to my mix CDs on the drive home from class and the Madonna song Jump came on - man I so feel like that song - I so wish I had a place or person to Jump to : ) actually I would not leave here just for myself - little one needs her father even if I don;t have much here - I think right now the only thing that would make me leave is if I met someone and things developed from there - yeah looks like I am in So. NJ for the long haul - I think that is another reason I like to travel so much - unlike the song I can not Jump to another place - but at least like a bungee jump I can experience a temp thrill even if I snap back.....

On another note - I have been thinking for a long time about getting a tattoo and it looks like it may happen - I'll wait until it is done before really going into things :P yeah I have gone over all the reasons to and not to get a tattoo - I have been planning this like I said for years and have found someone my brother-in-law uses - yes I am getting it when I visit Arizona - hehe - and like I said more on that if and when I finally go through with things


Jump - by madonna

There’s only so much you can learn in one place
The more that I wait, the more time that I waste

I haven’t got much time to waste, it’s time to make my way
I’m not afraid of what I’ll face, but I’m afraid to stay
I’m going down my own road and I can make it alone
I'll work and I'll fight, Till I find a place of my own

Are you ready to jump?
Get ready to jump
Don’t ever look back, oh baby,
Yes, I’m ready to jump
Just take my hands
Get ready to jump

We learned our lesson from the start, my sisters and me
The only thing you can depend on is your family
And life’s gonna drop you down like the limbs of a tree
It sways and it swings and it bends until it makes you see

Are you ready to jump?
Get ready to jump
Don’t ever look back, oh baby
Yes, I’m ready to jump
Just take my hands
Get ready to, are you ready?

(Spoken:)
There’s only so much you can learn in one place
The more that you wait, the more time that you waste

I'll work and I'll fight till I find a place of my own
It sways and it swings and it bends until you make it your own

I can make it alone(my sisters and me) (repeat 7x)

Are you ready to jump?
Get ready to jump
Don’t ever look back, oh baby
Yes, I’m ready to jump
Just take my hands
Get ready to jump

Are you ready to jump?
Get ready to jump
Don’t ever look back, oh baby
Yes, I’m ready to jump
Just take my hands
Get ready to, are you ready?

Satisfying my rambling, weird brain's curiosity

Ok - I managed to find an answer to something I found curious today.

I took my environmental science and physical geology classes on a field trip today. We went to Wissahickon park in Philadelphia PA today to study metamorphic rocks, Appalachian Mountian geology and river geology and water pollution.

It was butt ugly cold in the morning - but a sunny day and it got up to the 40s and 50s by the end of the trip. I had a good showing and we had fun - I made those students walk all over and hopefully learned something - if nothing else they all were picking up rocks and stuff.

But on the drive back through Philly, a cop car passed us and I looked and it said Postal Police. even though it was a cop car with lights and everything it had the postal symbol on it.

I was WTF postal police... so after some stereotypical jokes about postal workers needing police and such - I made a note to look into it and I finally did and found this - http://www.fopnlc2.org/

Who knew such a position exsisted - not me

It always amazes me how much there is out there to learn - that is why I love listening to people and watching things and exploring and traveling and reading and well just - shit - being curious and finding out about something neat - everything in a sense fascinates me...

I know that is a dorky thing, but that is me... gotta explore and find out - Life's too much an adventure not to take advantage

crusin' along

I hit 1000 miles today - whew I am zooming along

Halloween goofiness

http://home.comcast.net/~jstratton1/halloween/index.htm

rolling along

Just a quickie - been trying to get through the day, week, so on.

Managed to get up to Wissahickon yesterday to chek the directions and the field site - it had just been raining so leaves and stuff were everywhere. Hopefully next week when we do the field trip it will not be wet and ick and we will be able to actually see the rocks and such....

Gotta a bit of work this week to push through - hopefully I can get it all done.

Got tickets to visit my sisters for Thanksgiving. I also am flirting very seriously with the tattoo idea again. I just might do it yet : )

Halloween is Tuesday - prolly just going to be my smiley face emoticon dracula for halloween - no daring-do from me - ah well - been trying to watch movies and such - not felt like a lot else.

Got season three L Word-YAY can not wait to watch that I have remained spoiler free - that is the only show that almost makes me consider getting Showtime just so I can watch it.

Now if I could just find someone to snuggle with and watch it with me I'd be set ;-P

Frenetic Fhoosh Friday and Sassy, Saucy Saturday

Wow what a pair of days.

I brain-fried/mushed myself on Friday. I started with a couple hours of typing up this case study for this NAF project through my day job. I was using Census Bureau data, student data and crunching other statistics to try and get this case study written for these people. Then the Business Services teacher had MOUS (Microsoft Office official tests) left that expired after Friday.

So I took, I a row, three 50 minute tests -MS Word, MS Excel and MS Access – I passed all three – Whoot, go me, but I had NEVER opened the 2003 version really of any of those programs – LMAO – I went in cold and sat and took them. If you are not familiar – you have 50 minutes to do 17 – 19 multiple part tests that are practical – format this, hyperlink that find a formula that does that, etc. Damn I really think I multitasked and switched topics too much and radically - I am still not sure how I did it (plus still have this drat lingering cold thing)

Then 20 minutes after completing that test – I was on the road driving to the community college to teach my three hour environmental science course. We started meteorology so I was covering the atmosphere and what heats it and all this stuff -whoosh – I made it home and went blahhh and did the thing where you run your finger over your lips and make the woobah-woobah I am crazy sound :-P

Saturday – well – today was much better – started with the three hour environmental lab and the topic was humidity and the beginning of the discussions on what causes rain – that lecture and lab went very well. Then I jumped in my OLD Saturn car and drove to the Honda dealer and drove away in my NEW Honda Civic – Hurray – I will have old and new pics of the cars up on my web site in a day or two.

Then I caught a quick nap and went to see……….. OMFG Cyndi Lauper. And I sat in the FRONT row – OMG – it was so cool and I almost got to shake her hand – she went the other way at the last minute – but damn it was an awesome concert and just – whew – she knows how to hold a concert and throw a fun time ;-D

Tomorrow I drive up to the Wissahickon Park in Philly and check to see if it is good for the field trip I am running in a couple of weeks – plus gotta do grading and other work stuff – bleck – but Saturday was awesome : )

a cool play adn other tidbits

Whew - weekend went by fast

Friday I started getting sick, a nice head cold complete with weariness and blahs (I so do not need sick blahs on top of my mopey lonely blahs). But managed to make it through class (we hit plate tectonics and earthquakes in the environmental science lecture). Then I tried to sleep as the nose continued to clog.

Saturday was marked by Envinromental Lab Saturday morning (Volcanoes - hurray) and then I slept some - although also managed a call as my home internet is still up and down - they did not have an appointment open until Tuesday but hopefully they can find what is wrong - unfortunately it seems to go up and down so that may be harder to find....

I slept some after class and then saturday night went out to see this play/musical

"The Mystery of Edwin Drood" _ OMG OMG OMG I loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I prolly can't but am going to try to see it again before they end. It is a local company that put it on but it was great. It is a musical based, loosely, very loosely, on the last unfinished story by Charles Dickens. It was dark humor, music and the cast interacts with the crowd - I was on an end seat and ended up having to help one of the performers with their stretching exercises and stuff - it was awesome.

It is the premise of an olde English Music Hall troupe doing the PLay "the Mystery of Edwin Drood'. And the troup knows it is unfinished so they have the crowd determine at the end who is the murder - which is awesome - but the in-jokes - since it is a cast playing a cast playing a cast - I am lost - but just AWESOME - I can see why when it was on Broadway it won Tonys - in fact I am going to see if it is playing in New York anywhere and go see it....

After the play - went to a local bar/tavern and listened to a 60s - today cover band. They did stuff like Steely Dan, The Romantics, and others - semi rock and such - it was good - and I like the place, it was close to home, so will try there again.

Sunday was spent still sick (in fact still ick today) and trying to do some errands and stuff. Not been talking much to anyone lately - everyones been busy, so kinda just tooling along - hoping this cold thing goes away ASAP.

Going to try and make it through the day and push out a lot of work just to try and catch up....

Potato chip Buckets

Well making it through a rainy midweek. Got told they are having trouble locating the new car I wanted so i am still trying to convince my Saturn not to poop out on me. i actually was good and cleaned a lot out and vacuumed and everything. The way my life runs if they do not hurry and find my car I am going to end up having to reclean my car, again - lol

I embarassed myself today at work. One of the teachers stopped and noticed the pictures of my little one and said how much she looked like me, I kept the I hope not comments to myself as I have a bad self ego problem and feel I am not a looker and thus do not want her to look like me, but self issues aside, i said, honestly, if you compare baby pictures of me at that age we would look like sisters.

The teacher replied oh well if you ever bring those pictures in please let me see, i love looking at pictures.So as she started to leave I called from my office, "Oh sure, hey i have a great one of me naked in a Kentucky Fired Chicken bucket or maybe it was a potato chip bucket."Well I am very naive and lala spacey blonde and never thought twice about that or thought of that in anyway as others might as I added "Oh yeah i was about 2."

Well she looks into the office next to mine and I hear laughter as I had already started to refocus on my work. My office co worker was in his office next door and came around laughing. He was like, "Oh my god the images, I did not hear the you were about 2 part at first." And of course the teasing commenced from there. he has a band and stuff and he was like "Hey I found our next CD cover." another time he said. "No it is ok I am am just in here playing with photoshop."

SIGH

I was so red - but we both laughed a lot and now I must go and dig up the potato chip bucket picture. I also realized the other teacher may not have heard the about 2 part of my volunteering to show naked pictures of myself nand thus she may have odd ideas now too.

SIGH

I really need to find a girlfriend or someone to keep me in line :P

procrastination

Ok - so yesterday I finally did something I have been meaning to do for over a year. I had a couple of big comforters that ended up getting messed up about a year ago. They would not fit in my little rinky dink washer which meant I would need to go to a laundromat to wash them. Well I shivered through last winter and kept never finding time to go and get them done.

Well yesterday I did it - I washed them and all my blankets and damn, it only took me a little over a year. I seem to find ways to put a lot of stuff off, but hey i have warm, comfy, clean comforters at least - hurray. Now about that sorting project I've been meaning to get to....

Whew

Getting kinda tired lately but hey it is october - I am waiting for them to deliver my new car - yeah I bought a new car (I'll put up pictures of my old car and new car on my website as soon as I get my new car) - I need to find peoples who are willing to let me use them as an excuse to road trip ANY TAKERS -

I would love a place to go or company for a road trip - just give a holler - I need a break and then I can show of the new car and get all excited - lately not had much of anything to get excited about - been kinda just one day after the next.

I think some of it is the fact a couple dates are coming up and November is just around the corner and I hate november for many reasons - there are good things too - just so many yuck dates to deal with fall in that month

I was really impressed with the answers the high school students in my web design and internet research class came up with for the assignment - What Do You wonder About? And then some of the high school students in the one Travel and Tourism class I am helping with made me laugh so much yesterday - they are the seniors and the class is using the web to visit the Ritz hotel in paris - it has an interactive tour and stuff - so I am helping them.

The site has a place you put in a phone number and immediately someone from the ritz will call - so the one student put her cell in and they were asking the people in Paris about the hotel - that was cool and fun - I need more laughs - I need to find a way to make friends and get out and laugh more...

communication

I am teaching a lot of online courses this semester and i started my move toward high school teacher certification and am teaching a high school class online as well as my college online classes (so two college courses online and a high school course)

Because I am going for alternate route for the high school teaching (which is a big pain and a very weird thing because I have a degree in education and have student taught but I have to do this alternate route because of the certificate I am going for and well other stuff but I will not go on about alternate route now - save that for later)

But as part of the process I am finding myself having to compare and contrast online to face to face environments a lot.

As such I am wondering more and more about the world of online communication both professionally, academically and of course personal - the personal as I have many online friends and yes I have many online crushes and even a few deeper than crushes although those are all one way - I have yet to have an online romance (one area of the online world and face to face world missing form my life right now - lol)

But I find myself wondering - how do you truly know and interpret someone on the other end of the screen - if they do not reply to your pings or communications it is personal, is it just something on their end, or... well, there is lots more to say on this subject and when I am more focused i will.... ah communication in general - always a tricky thing and one so important and one that leads to the most hurt and happies most encounter – blah

But this entry is triggered because an online person seems in the last week or so to have changed in their online communication style with me...

is it truly a change
is it something just perceived by me
is it a temporary thing is it a more permanent change
is it something I did, is it totally unrelated to me... and happening all over or all online but…
if it is changed because of something good, yay but if bad, I want to help
but how can I if i do not know
and how can i know if the communication is awkward....

So many questions and ways to interpret and misinterpret... :(

and I just miss my friend and want her back and want to help if something is up and want to know if it is something real or just an odd timing and me reading (sly pun there) more into things then there is there to read....

Updates

My sister sent this poem to me - not sure where she got it - but it is nice and really really kinda captures some of my thoughts and feelings on a certain...subject (person) ah well

in other news - the death bell is sounding for my Saturn SL2 - this last check up yesterday came back with a list of over 900 plus the radiator has cracks, not leaking yet but that is going to go and.... and wellllllll I guess I will start looking for cars... not the best time in the world with the possibility of my job changing in terms of my salary and having to pay for the alternate route and everythign else - but hey I may finally come into the 20th century and have a CD player in the car - although i have all my tapes and love them :(I

need to get out an find some music - I think this friday after class I will try to do something even if it is to drive straight to atlantic citygo into one casino and get one drink and hear only one lounge songer song... :P

I actually just need to find someone to get out with and share things with

Wow end of September is upon us - where did it go? Buried under too much work but keeping it buried to not think about other things... eh well :P

Watched Friends with Money - that was a weird movie and it just ends - more like a TV episode than a movie - and most of the characters were not happy at the end - damn it - but liked the ensemble cast

Going to watch Truman show (again) after I get home from holding a test review for my two Cumberland County College courses - they both have tests coming up

Ok here is the poem - whomever wrote it - it is good and man someday maybe... pfffttttttt

My Gift To You

by Lonely Shadow

I live through my dark existence

only to bask in your beauty

your eyes that shine like sapphires

your smile that brightens even my sad existence

I envy the wind that runs through your hair

that touches your lips

I long to touch you

to hold you in my arms

but I cannot

for your heart belongs to another

so, I can only love you from afar

your friendship means more to me

than anything this world provides

but like an angel you touched my heart

in a way that I've never felt before

cause I've never known what love is until this day

I know that we are only friends

but my heart wishes it to be more

so I will still hope and dream

that one day I can feel your lips pressed to mine

to hold you in my arms and say, "I love you"

focus

So where is my focus these days?

Soemtimes it is on the stuff going on at my work and how it will impact me and changes are coming.

Sometimes it is on trying to juggle way too much but always looking for more becuase I don;t quite feel I have found what or who I really would like.

Sometimes it is turned to thinking up a plot, or story or a fantasy that I wish could come true. Sometimes I focus on the fact fantasies are the nicest and cruelist because they have a base in fact and have the ideal of what you'd like to happen and yet will not.

SOmetimes I focus on trying to listen to the rain or take a moment to count the clouds or pehaps watch the construction outside one of the windows at my work.

Sometimes it is on how little focus I have and how I multitask and ramble and always thinkng, moving, restless.

Sometimes it is on how the combination of lyrics, beat and timing makes a song one I know I want to hear again, press the reply button, again, press the replay button and again.

FOCUS - something I have lost in some aspects these last few years, something I have lamented loosing and thus have wasted time crying rather than trying.

Ah, time's up, must move on to focus on something else.

lyrics

My mother use to sing two songs a lot – so much I actually learned the lyrics much like one would learn a lullaby – "Richard Cory" and "I am a Rock." I always kinda let it go and never thought about those songs or why she sang them much because of my maturity level and also because my mother had a long history of mental illness and I learned to take many things she did/said in that context….

I find myself these last few weeks/months suddenly with crystal crisp clarity understanding these songs

Fuck it all anyways….

Current music: Linkin park - Meteora

Milestones of an odd sort

Been keeping busy - some of the things are things I like being busy because of and many are not. Still looking for that special someone to keep me really busy and to help when they are busy but plugging along through life.

Did manage to walk to the comic book store today and take a few minutes just to enjoy the nice weather, some geeky fun and such. Been behind in reading but getting back into that even with the busy just to keep me balanced... I hope between music and writing and little things like reading sometimes I can not get too off or depressed or thinking about things I shouldn't.

Will be starting up some classes for alternate route Monday assuming the union does not destroy what it is I want to do.... the classes are 4 hours of who knows what to help prep me to become a teacher. Most people take alternate route because they are going into teaching but did not take education classes or do student teaching so they take this year long series of intense classes as an "alternate route" I have had classes and student teaching - but in a long story I do not want to share right now here but if you wanna hear email or ping me...

but I never took the final steps to activate the certificates associated with that - and finally I have this other certificate in Technology but they will not apply my student teaching - so I pay and have to go through these classes 430 to 830 almost ever Monday and Wednesday - whew

Been listening to this and that lately (right now listening to the radio about to change to my CD think I'll put in Angels and Airwaves, The Fray and not sure what else....). Going to watch maybe V for Vendetta if not tonight maybe to unwind after long day tomorrow (I work and then those classes).

A Big milestone Tuesday - my braces come off... that represents something in many aspects.

See I decided to finally get them 2 and a half years ago. Then after I went in for the consult, the next week my ex told me he was leaving me. So for two and a half years I've had these braces on, gone through the divorce and been with out someone to cuddle and hold and love and share things with for two and a half years... as well... an odd convergence

So Tuesday marks another change as I am having them removed... i hope the next change in my personal life (in a good way) happens soon as well.....

My sister keeps telling me right around the corner and I keep thinking of songs like Anna Nalick's In the Rough (ok I think of way more depressing songs a lot of the time too but trying to keep upbeat here and not think of the loneliness but the potential.....)

this and that

Whew - been ultra busy and such - need to take time to update things more fully, like wrap up of Dragon con, my new busy schedule (packed-a-rama), and ramble thoughts on this that. I have a ton to do tomorrow but if I schedule things in a good way and stay focused (which has been hard lately, i have so much to do but motivation sees to wan and flounder) I hope to be very productive tomorrow well today... alright off to slumber and hope I get things set and perhaps even have a longer entry next time, maybe even filled with something more than my quest for gf and griends in general ;-P

Dragon Con marches on and I just GAWK

Well Saturday was a hooottttt

Started up and early to pay parking fee for next day – van is still there – I am stylin'

Then all other staff members save my sister are passed out in their room so Kathy (sister) and I go and show up for first panels and get those running.

Then we head over to the walk of fame and GAWK at the stars (OMG he looks old – is that really that dude) – but we went because I had one thing I really really really wanted – to meet Yvonne Craig and get "Batgirl's" autograph. SHE LOOKED SO GOOD and was so nice. I bought her book – form Ballet to the Batcave and will post review when done – then I had her pick her favorite Batgirl on a motorcycle (oh damn those words just could have described certain fantasies of mine) and she signed it for me – and I shook her hand and chatted about a necklace of hers and stuff – OK OK FanGirl moment over :-P

Then some more panels and Kath and I stopped in a pub for some pulled pork and reubens then we helped with the Anime Costume contest – which was awesome.

Then we helped with a few more panels then headed back to room for some work and sleep and margaritas (not quite in that order)

We also accosted many people in costume and asked for pictures… and will continue that tonight.

We had paper airplane duels and contests during some of the panels – that was fun believe it or not. And my airplane sometimes kinda went a little ways.

I also read through some Y the last man comics and a little 1935 phamplet – The Art of Kissing.

Wheeeeee – just so much to see and doooooooooo

Day 2 – First official con day – but only a half day….

Well another wonderful day comes to an end (although already time is blurring and it is hard to remember exactly where and when to end one day and begin the next :-P

Managed to get to the conference and find all the F*ing hotels had their parking full already because Fargin people not staying in the hotel parked there. So I am a paying guest and have to trek three plus blocks away and leave my rental in a non secure lot – I am pissolaed.

But got checked in – the room is way up on the 26th but it is a nice view and clean and spacious – plus I get green tea shampoo samples – lol

The panels for today were not too bad – started with a general session and then a good session with C. martin and George Low form the Space Ghst cartoon – George Lowe is hilarious.

The managed to run and grab some more stuff form the van before heading back to make sure the adult swim (Cartoon network) Ventura Brothers panel was a go. Managed to fit in a new game called Tonsro or something (I'll get the official name tomorrow) but that was an interesting game – will post the overview laters.

Then managed to go to the Con Suite for nachos and what ever else appeared. The con suite is a place that any con person can go to get free food, soda and whatever – they just put out who knows what. They had chips, salsa, PB & J sandwiches, moon pies and twinkies available when I was there – as well as coffee, soda, tea and such – the fact it is free was cool and I like just sitting in the con suite and watching people circulate through.

Then ended up staffing a How to make music videos workshop and now wrapping up to get ready for another fun filled day – oh did I mention ALLLLL the people and costumes (or lack of costumes – oooohhhhhhh leather, corsets and nothing but tape, OH MY) – will have lots of pictures up soon

Lots more to tell but must sleep just a little :P

dragon con trip day one

OK so a 15 hour plus ride from Philadelphia was interesting

got to see one of my friends from the online group I write with which is so cool.

I love meeting people and especially those I know or from the online groups I am in.

We ended up getting our staff badges, checking out the anime/animation track room - which was somewhat surreal as there were two guys int here at the tables with the mikes just using the mikes and playing - when we came in they started doing comedy, it was weird.

Then spent time learning how to make a character for the Lord of the Five Rings RPG game.

Tomorrow the conference starts and the fun should really pick up.

Will have lots more to say, if sober and not busy running trying to make sure the track panels go alright, tomorrow :P

random music comments

I got Angels and Airwaves and The Fray CD - I really really like them both!!!

Also got Cyndi Lauper tickets - not sure if I mentioned that earlier :)

I made A&A The Adventure one of my ringtones - I love music :P

and it makes me wonder, how do people choose ringtones?

Just a little writing drabble

a couple of songs played on my internet radio station and they just seem to really express many feelings and thoughts right now - ah well

Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars [4:25] - Eyes Open


Simple Plan - Untitled [3:58] - Still Not Gettin' Any


But on to drabble

I Wish I Had a Moment With You
(dedicated to N, but she will never know)

Visually few know when the Moment occurs. Most find they can not say exactly when, how or why the Moment happened.

Most can, at some point after the Moment, sense that it has happened. But even with thorough analysis, pinpointing that instant is elusive.

Some can recognize the steps before, leading to the point of no return. And there are those who identify the resulting after effects, the ripples that spread and forever change those involved in the Moment.

So what can you do?

Before a Moment you know who you are, where you belong, what you want and how to get through the next day.

After a Moment your entire world and perspective is sitting in the trash and you are frantically trying to dig through the wastebasket to find out what the hell just happened.

Whimpering, you try to understand why nothing makes sense. What you thought you knew, what and who you thought you wanted and even all the ways to get back to where you were are closed... denied.

A Moment marks the action, thought, word, deed, right turn, wrong turn, physical, mental or emotional step that divides before the Moment {{when all is good and clear and easy, if not remotely frustrating and lacking as you want, desire, fantasize}} and after the Moment {{when all is crazier than Mardi Gras, cloudier than the middle of a thunderstorm and harder than climbing Mt Everest yet it is a rush, exhilarating, or incredibly dark and forever gone}}

It's the place that person sends you with a single Moment of them - the place where you are lucky to remember your name never mind all the details like who you thought you were, what you thought you wanted and what you thought you knew.

My wish? To be graced with a Moment with you. To have my world intersect yours with the intensity that comes from when Moments take hold. To share and ride the waves together after our incredible Moment regardless of the direction it might take. A Moment, that's all I want.

Well of course after that Moment there's the next one.... :-D

from the mind of my youngest sister

OK sometimes I just get a little confuzzed when dealing with my youngest sister - witness a recent chat

me: heya
Mysister: heya back
me: how goes?
Mysister: slow
me: how come
Mysister: just is, this is not kat btw
me: i know
Mysister: sure u did
me: i am talking to kathy
Mysister: read the box sweets
me: what?
Mysister: never mind u lost me
me: what?
me: what did you mean read the box sweets?
Mysister: I thought you were asking if I was kathy and I had just typed that this is not kathy so I was telling you to read the box. lol get it?
me: I get it, stop chatting with some hoochie mamma and getting distracted
Mysister: lmao I dont chat with the hoochie mammas only the hoochie daddas lol
me: yeah sure
Mysister: tell me something what do you think would be a good song for me to put on myspace? something that represents me. seein as you know music so well
me: that depends on your mood
me: and I am not sure i know any songs called hoochie mamma
Mysister: haha HEY, I am not nearly as big a hootchie mama as everyone seems to believe I am......
me: you have big bazzoomes that hang out you be a hoochie mamma
Mysister: hahaha no, that only makes me provicative not hoochie mamma. Hoochie is someone who goes out "hoochin it up like a dog havin sex with whatever has 2/4 legs" lmao
me: and you don't fit that definition how?
Mysister: OUCH! julie that hurts
me: want a bandaid?
Mysister: I dont just have sex with anybody. and I have not been with as many guys as everyone says I have. I
me: yes you have sex with everybody
me: and I know
Mysister: um no. When I broke up with jason (my first guy ever) I had sex with two guys one was a one night stand. I didnt know it was going to be, he was my friend and when we had sex he just stoped talking to me
me: I see, continue please
Mysister: Then Peter the Painter. He rocked my world for quite a while and I have no regrets on that one
Mysister: Then Mark....
me: was his peter called The Painter too?
Mysister: After Mark, there have been a few
me: yes I am almost out of fingers keep going
Mysister: Peter was my painter at the apts I managed. He use to calk my cracks too
Mysister: lol
Mysister: bitch
Mysister: anyways I had a self induced one night stand with andy
me: caulking your crack, I bet he did
me: self induced?
me: What is self induced?
Mysister: then I met a guy who I thought was my boyfriend. Tom. turns out he was not.....
me: Hmm that sucks - and hmm the hoochie mamma theory keeps getting better and better
Mysister: then Paul..... Also a bad Idea, but fanfrickentastic sex. he is the last one.... well for now
Mysister: OK NOT THAT MANY
me: Um not that many? You know how far I have to scroll up to get to the top of your list?
me: And oh I see not that many you can remember I got ya covered
Mysister: 7 guys in only a short amount of time ok 7 for most women my age that is not a lot well not too many there may be a few more but still

A very wonked up movie

Man, ok that is one harsh but good movie.

The fast forward sex scene had me laughing and was intriguing. The milk bar, ok something about those white chick furniture pieces just spooky. The "science" treatment was - okay the eyeball things if the actor really had that happen - ouchie momma And the ending… makes you go hmmm

And of course the attitude toward sex and violence overall… and then you wonder as you laugh and go through the movie reacting if the movie is not more of a future prediction then we care to think – I mean in one of the Halloween Simpson eppys they have Bart dressed as Alex….

I also know I am not getting all of the imagery and such I will look it up on web sites later tonight. Although if anyone has comments or ideas or tidbits regarding Clockwork, let me know

Hmm let's see revisit one of my top all time favorite's Drop Dead Gorgeous or on to the next rental I have, an HP Lovecraft horror movie – or I have Adam and Steve and V for Vendetta (which I saw in the theater and LOVED – which is why I just bought V for vendetta today I also bought Adam and Steve – I had a coupon and got both movies for 15 bucks an awesome deal!!!!!!!)

more movies, screw work

Movies movies movies

Ok watched "She's The Man" on recommendation from a friend – man I groaned and groaned, although there were some funny lines and Amanda Byrnes does look good as a guy. I also liked the overall storyline, fairly straight forward although the ball bouncing thing scene was kinda cute and yes Nikki, the chick fight scene was good, man I winced when she did the face plant. I like the soundtrack and wanna look into getting it!

Next watched batman Forever – ok it was supposed to be Batman and Robin cause I wanted to see Uma Thurman and Alicia but I goofed in the rental store (I did not look, just grabbed, sigh) will get batman and Robin tomorrow - Riddle me this - and hey At least I got a Drew Barrymore cameo - nice

Next up – A clockwork Orange – which I actually have never seen before.

And yes my mind is in a funk to be jumping from movie type to movie type such as I am…. maybve it'll keep me distracted - or at least make people wonder about me and my tastes :P

movie marathon continues with small break

Ok took a break from movies cause last night I did something different i decided to do my version of a pub crawl - instead sitting all by my lonesome and moping that I am all by myself - I went out and moped - no just kidding

I parked At one end of the casino strip in Atlantic city and started wandering teh casinos (crawling) with a mission - instead of going from pub to pub to drink I was going from casino to casino looking for music

I started in the Taj and found a lounge act and caught a couple songs before they went on break - then headed to resorts - tried to find the tabou night club gave up and headed to sands - stopped at the Swingers bar but they were not going to have a band until 11 (the middle one did not show) so finished my orange vodka screwdriver and headed to Ballys - there I found the Blue Martini bar and enjoyed this 11 man ensemble that was a Motown cover (everything from Aretha, Marvin, Low Rider and more) stayed for an Orange rush martini, two sets and cute bartender ho kept getting me water - whee

Then I headed outside to one of the beach bars and caught a 80s 90s cover band while enjoying my diet coke. I still had a bunch of casinos left but decided to head back - but I had always wanted to check out the Casbah nightclub in the Taj

so I went and DAMN I LIKE - they have dancers and basically a floor in the middle, a metal railing around (so I could lean, dance drink my Smirnoff Ice and watch (ok and drool...) oh man) and continuous techno mix - the outer edge is rimmed by two bars, some tables then special enclave exclusive booths that have curtains that can be drawn. Add in the bubble and steam effects they occasionally turned on covering the dance floor in steam and bubbles (man when Shakira's newest song came on the place went wild complete with bubble mania) but I got to dance some and the techno beat was pumping and good.

So then headed back through Taj, caught the end song of another group at the one lounge and then headed home.

But will continue movie marathon along with chores for rest of weekend.

madness movie style

OK let it be knownthe movie "Pirates" is a baaaaaaaaaaaaaad movie and I LMAO

I mean lines like

may your balls turn into breasts

or I think I shit my pants

and of course more pirate groans and moans than well a shipfull of drunken sailors....Oh My Gawd

Although the lead Jules, she was a hottie :P

And as the movie man warned - "This is not the Pirates of the Carribean, it's a HARD R - I guess he meant hard body R - OH MY GAWD - :-P

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0477457

More movies

Ok Aeon Flux (my second viewing) was good. Like the actress and the plot and kick butt action scenes always get me going. I actually have not seen the animated series or read anything. I think I may have to rent the series and check it out.

Hmm that makes me think about the different books that make it to moives and movies made into books and all the good, bad and ugly associated with that....

Took a break from movies but on to next

movie marathon update

Ok long week, blah week, lots going on, but...

rented a bunch of movies for tonight and weekend

so movie one is done - "Almost Normal" I liked it - the premise is different, a little formulaic but who cares and liked the music and the actors/actresses. It was cute, sweet and the boy gets the boy in the end, makes me go awww.



on to next movie

capturing your attention

It is often oddly fascinating what things catch's someone's attention and holds it.

Some people watch operations and such for hours on Discovery health. Some watch court cases and other real TV type things. Some turn on sports channels and watch marathons and other repetitive sports/challenges/etc.

My mother would tune into the NASA channel which would 24/7 show the space shuttle when it would be up in space

they are adding a couple new building s and other construction to the high school here. I stood just watching some of the construction fascinated. The problem at hand is new pipes being put in. A guy is using a big claw backhoe machine to tear up the cement there. I was amazed at how he used it almost like an extension of a hand at some points to pound on the stuff trying to break it, then tear and claw it up and finally gently (yes I use that term here because) it almost looked graceful sometimes the way he maneuvered the huge claw to place these huge slabs of heavy concrete into a dump truck. The whole process looked so effortless and it was easy to forget we were talking a lot of weight and sometimes clumsy large machines... I was captivated - it was also nice to zero in on nothing else but watching.

It amazes me what activities can just hold someone's attention and why....

I'd love to find out things like that about people - it's the curious George in me : ) Plus I love to listen to people even about the odd details and things that make them tick. If you ever wanna talk, always give me a ping - I love to listen and be captivated :P

Mistakes

They say everyone makes mistakes, the key is to learning from and moving on said mistakes to make the future better. I made some mistakes and right now I have learned it hurts, it hurts so very fucking bad. I hope to learn the other stuff later, once it stops hurting

Right now pretty much everything feels fucked to me because some shit and fuckedness went down at work Thursday. Actually work has been getting shittier and shitter the last few months and well it hit a bad point yesterday - I have never cried at work like I did yesterday and I still feel...

See right now my family life is really shitty as some of my sisters are having bad problems and things are fucked there. My one sister continues to screw her life and is getting into alcohol, is going out with a new person every night almost, not taking care of her kids and the list goes on. Another is having major financial and family issues and the third is having family issues and barely hanging on - plus they all live in Arizona.

My social life is shitty as it is nonexistent - I rarely see anyone if not work related or if I make myself go out, but then when I go out, it is alone and maybe I say a few words to a stranger while waiting in line but nothing in terms of a social thing. I have very few friends, Of those friends (which I could count using 10 fingers or less), there are none here, where I live that I actually visit or visit me or hang out with - I really only have a small group of friends via the Internet and lately they have been really busy or have their own lives and have not been around so I have been seeing not even every much of them (seeing here means talking to them online or maybe the occasional call for a couple of them).

Releationship, wll again there is another crapper of a portion of my life, since splitting with my ex about 2 and a half years ago, I have been on two dates and that's it - no gf, no dates, nobody in that arena and somehow with ever passing day I wonder more and more if there ever will be anyone to hold and love and cuddle and be with.

And now work has become an area that's more blah then happy or getting through the day. My work place was the one area (besides my daughter which there are issues there but my daughter which I have joint custody of is a very private issue and not for this discussion in any other way) that kinda got me through the other eh and ick parts life throws at you.

The others are music (I love music and concerts) and my writing and posting (which has not been happening as I said those people have not been around as much. Especially a certain someone I am kinda afraid that person is going to go away and not be around anymore and take away that very special avenue of writing, posting and chatting and being a friend (I think of them as a friend, i hope they think of me as a friend... I never asked, was too afraid too, especially since I like that person a lot, yes the term crush and actually other terms come to mind, but eh, sometimes those you wish you knew in certain ways just doesn't work out or happen....)

But I hope they do not go away as that person next to my sister have been 2 of the three reasons to look forward to the next day about - and off course that is a bummer, but that is something I leave for my healthy what if and fantasies and yeah ok I really wish I could know this person as more than a friend but this person is happy with someone else, has a life and I would never be the type of person to fit in her life) But back to work, now work has become a place I dread, a place I cry about and at and a place that I right now do not find to be something I look forward to, so another area of my life that's just shitty.....

There are moments and granted I have a lot to be and I am thankful for, but somehow things just seem to be kinda bad and I'm hurting a lot more than I'm not lately and it's getting harder to keep looking at it from the optimistic perspective and fact there could be worse happening to me.... cause see the thing is there could be better happening too.....

Miss List

Caught Broad Banned Saturday night and enjoyed that - I stayed for all three of their sets because they played down in Cape May which was closer than the venues they usually play in. I even got a bottle opener keychain - most cool : ) they played at Cabanas which is too small but a nice place although I hate the parking situation down there. I try to go there though especially during winter months when they stay open - so much closes up because of the tourist seasonality. I actually try to frequent any place that stays open, plus I know it is discouraging for bands to play to five people - trust me I have been one of the five people at many a session.... I always appreciate it though and listen and enjoy...

Only have three more classes to teach for the summer class and the third class consists of the final test - which then I have to grade and get grades in - but whew, that will be all complete. I think I may be teaching Environmental science this Fall in addition to everything else - but that is of everything going on right now the funniest thing I've come across in a bit... considering my social life is nonexistent except when I go out by myself somewhere, I have not been in a relationship since my ex left - I was thinking about that the other day -you know not so much even being in a relationship - I realized there are just certain things I miss... (and yes I realize I have so much compared to others but still, there's something missing... ala Stacie orrico - "There's Gotta Be More To Life."

• I miss having someone around when things are really going cool as much as having someone around when things go ick
• I miss having someone to do things with that then I can talk to about the thing, even more so than doing the event is having someone who experienced it and understands so they can talk about it
• I miss listening to someone - I love to listen and watch and I miss that more than I miss having someone to talk to
• BACKRUBS
• CUDDLING - OH GOD I MISS THAT - and HUGS - I mean I have hugs from my daughter and the occasion when I see my family but those are not often and they are not the same as hugs from that special someone.
• I miss Kissing - I am not good at it, but I would love to have someone to practice with/on
• I miss dancing - I can not dance but love to but am too shy to get out there much, I miss having someone push me out there and out of my shell
• I miss cuddling on the couch? Did I mention that - I mean just sitting on the couch, saying nothing, watching TV but cuddling, even just leaning gently against someone
• I miss, of course, a certain physical activity :-P ok yes I miss
  S-E-X
• I miss knowing when I drive home from my class or work or the grocery store, that there is someone that will be around the house, someone I have to be mindful of and consider and ask before I do certain things and share things with or not share things with
• I miss having someone I can trust with my life, love and deepest ideas - the silly, dork ideas
• I miss being a dork with someone (I decided that needed a bullet of its own -dorkiness and being fucking stupid silly is important and a lost art form)
• I miss exploring with someone - I like adventure but there is only so much you can do alone
• I miss cuddling and hugging oh wait I already mentioned that, didn't I : ) hmmmmm sensing a favorite here :P
• I miss having someone else make the decisions sometimes - ok that is weird but it really makes sense, honest
• I miss family - I have my daughter but she is with me only part of the time and is a 6 year old, my three sisters are 1000s of miles away and with the crap going on right now I may get to see them even less so - I miss family
• I miss silent communication - that glance, glare, face, gesture, whatever that you learn to know, react too and take care off
  

There is more - but I am too melancholy to go on - if reading and you are alone and have things you miss, feel free to add to the list. I know they say to have a friend, you need to be a friend, but damn it is hard to go out there - I'm not the one to make a move nevermind a first move, sigh - I miss having someone make the first move - lol

Ah well, have a day - I know I'll get through this one somehow : )

:-(

I think for the first time ever or in a long long time I truly hate my job. No not talking about stress or not liking the pressure or something someone said or such, no, i truly hate my job so badly right now it hurts, hurts and for the first time in a long time I wish, i wish I did not work there. Hopefully this mood and day will go away very soon - it is mixing with everything else and just... i really really hate things and my mood and certain aspects of my life right now :-/

looooonnnngggggg weekend spilling into week

This past week, weekend and the week starting has been really long and tiring and seems not to be getting too much past the unmotivated blah moving through this day to get to the next and not much else.

Some major stuff going on with two of my sisters has me in a dark, deep rut. Especially since those issues seem to be bringing my thoughts to my own blah issues and it just all combines into a rut.

On other topics - had the house inspected for termites and while I am free, have major ant issues and such so will be getting the house sprayed Friday.

had a great, funny conversation with my one sister (the one not having bad, major issues right now) - it included (and do not ask me how we got on this) but included discussion of jelly boob things you can buy at Walmart - that came about because my sister had told my other sister one day it looked like her certain features had been "sucked in" which led to many jokes and thus the discussion of the ways to enhance a certain feature.

The Bridging program starts tomorrow - hope that goes well. Also plugging through my summer class. And counting down until I go to Dragon COn - that'll be a very good break.

garbage disposal wizard

HAHAHAHAHA I just conquered the garbage disposal - when I came back about three months or longer the disposal had stopped working - I could not figure out why and went ahead like a good busy persona dn kept putting it off - but tonight got frustrated and was totally in and under the sink and I found a red little button on the bottom of the thing all hidden away - I pushed it and

WHAAAALLLLLAAAAAAA I have shredding capabilities again - I am so smart I am so smart SMRT I am so smart (sung in Homer simpson's voice) - of course no one better mention how I could have tried to find the manual three months ago and read over how to try and reset the thing - anyone say anything and the blonde fickle fingers of tickle fu will descend upon you. ;P

I am so smarttttttttttt

Whew whee---- this week has been hectic and well hectic. I got back from the NAF conference Sunday.

I spent the day trying to get things settled back around the house - make up for lost petting time with kitty kat, do laundry and prepare for Monday's lecture for the class I am teaching (Monday was Water properties and chemistry and oceanography).

Then getting back to work, I start the bridging program Monday so have been spending all week trying to get all the million nutty details set (like on my way home today I stopped to buy soda and paper plates and notepads and other assorted things and still have things to do.). Plus my co worker is having a lot of family things popping up and she will not be around as much. I actually did not even get to my phone messages until Wednesday :P

I had to teach two workshops at my day job this week - Using Multimedia which was all about issues surrounding multimedia from file types and legal issues to creating multimedia yourself.

Then today I taught part three of an Intro to MS Access Database class.

Add in I am working on a major curriculum project for the school where I am going through and updating all the binders and switching over to electronic formats and all this organizing stuff.

Add in creating a test for the class for Wednesday (which now I have a pile to grade by Monday) and I am really keeping busy. Plus have to type up NAF reports from conference and work on projects from that….

Tomorrow I have a dentist appointment – ick, and then taking a 6 year old to see Hilary Duff in concert at one of the casinos. That should be fun :P and look I made no jokes about comparing those two activities – hehe (actually I do like some of Ms. Duff's stuff and any live music or music in general is good).

I got a postcard in the mail from a pest control that supposedly a house in my neighborhood was found to have termites. They are supposedly giving a free inspection… man if I have termites… how expensive is it to get rid of them…. Drat Arthropods… I hate bugs even thought they are essential to the ecosystem – go be in someone else's ecosystem – hahah

There are a ton o movies out this weekend – maybe I can catch one or some music. In between the other stuff I am working on : ) But going to make sure to do a little something relaxing this weekend – need to to try and keep things a little less stressed :0)

Still waiting to hear back from the neurologist regarding the results of the test for T – if she has to get a shunt, I think my world will crash very far for a very dark time…. My youngest sister is spiraling more and more out of control – it is a scary spiral and not sure how to stop it, help or what to do. When you start having the practical what if conversation about death and such regarding said sister with another sister… that is when you realize just how dark and terrifying some things can be.

Thank goodness for Kath (sister) and an online friend/writing buddy – I think I would have gone crazy if not for those two – thank you both for keeping me afloat.

Whoosh and whewww and Swish – what a conference

Well the NAF conference here in Detroit is wrapping up – we fly out at 7am tomorrow – the conference was good. I just wish I had a better mindset of late to fully enjoy. But I did enjoy a bit.

Loved the GM and OnStar tour – they were really nice and I loved the tour. Got a neat paperclip note holder thing too from them :o)

Made it yesterday to the Romantics – that was awesome – they were good – I could actually see them (I will be posting my Detroit pictures this week and I have little white blips that represent the romantics to post – lol) I also played eye contact kinda with a cute girl the whole time. She was working the merch booth and I am standing over in the main area. It was an outdoor concert with the stage way up and then people brought their lawn chairs and stuff – it is a summer series.

Well I'm just standing in amongst the chairs and I always am dancing. See when I go to concerts I watch others just stand or sit and watch maybe swat a little or nod the head – I dance. I am no good but F-it I like the music and so I dance anyways. So I know I stick out. But I looked over and noticed her watching me – eh I thought – ok – then noticed she kept watching me. In fact through most the concert she was looking my way (prolly not really watching me but someone behind me – but anyhoos) I started watching her watching me as Idanced and stuff – so that was fun and yes I had to go over at the end and buy a CD and then she had me fill out the romantics mailing list – hehe I am now a Romantics fan – well I like them anyway but now I've seen them in concert (as well as a cute merch booth worker in Detroit :-P

So then today had two great workshops – one was about a project in a California high school where they blog -I left my name interested in have my students blog with others. Then talked to an English teacher about blogging and revising and got some good ideas and activities. Then got a great set of activities, web sites and lessons for an intro Information Technology course – including sites to have the students build games and simulations and other awesome stuff I will be using.

The keynote speaker was motivational and awesome – yes I started to cry a little at one part and was laughing a lot – I'll admit I am an emotional roller coaster and get into things and people. He gave an interesting math problem

29 students in a class. 20 have dogs. 15 have cats. How many have both.

After the conference headed to the Henry Ford Museum – that is an incredibly awesome place. Loved the cars and the round house and the bus Rosa Park sat on and just the whole museum. I got a cool Harley Davidson/Route 66 metal sign as my souvenir

Then hit this place for dinner that had in the corner a piano, bass player and a woman with a great voice (she sang Jazz). That was nice.

So the trip was productive, lots of materials and ideas, signed up for more work (of course) got a great range of music and I definitely plan on coming back – did not get to do a lot of what I wanted so must plan a trip back.

Also on a side note – a really cool site www.uberetc.com lists updates for various fanfic sites (including mine) asked Nikki and I to do a writer's ramble for them so we did and they published it – check out Friday, July 21 entry – wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee man I so badly wanna be a writer…. I'd love to write novels based on TV/Movies or write for TV or such…. Sigh –

The motivational speaker had a cool quote – I looked it up and found places mentioned as the author as Patrick Overton another site listed Frank Outlaw and another has a similar one by Tyrone Edwards and listed this one as anonymous. Whomever said them – I leave you with these words

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

Winding through Detroit and NAF

Well attending the NAF conference (I am the school's NAF director - we have three academies) in Detroit MIchigan this week.

Naf is a business oriented education model so it is a different kind of conference - they really pay attention to details and more of what works in business...

I presented today - talked about how our school uses online learning. Then in afternoon facilitated a database project design session. Worked with teachers to create lesson plans for teaching databases.

Also volunteered to work on a focus group to help set up a Director's manual as well as working with the IT department on staff development.

I enjoy meeting people and talking about what they are doing, and I do have a few ideas and projects to work on for after this conference, so it is very productive. Detroit, what little I have seen, is actually nice. I hope to explore a little more the next few evenings before we leave on Sunday.

Last night after conference meetings got to go on a riverboat cruise - it was awesome. We had dinner then had this awesome motown band - 5 singers who danced and sung just liek the Temptations and they were backed by a sax, drums, bass, guitar and keyboard - they were phenomenal.

Tonight - walked around Greektown a little and rode the people mover. Then I caught a great three piece blues band in a local eatery/bar. They were great and loved it - oh I'm in Detroit Michigan and the place is FIshbones. Tomorrow there is a concert series on the riverfront and it features the Romantics.

Tomorrow lots of workshops and then a our of the GM building and OnStar company - most awesome

going to see the Pretenders (one of those VH1 specials) and O.A.R and Jack's Mannequin - plus chasing a couple other tickets but not sure if timing before dragon con will work or will wait to go back to concert hopping after the con.

Hmm what else music wise? Got Anna Nalick CD I love In the rough - made it a ring tone - "Love will find me, in the rough..." love that.

My office mate's band had their first really "big" gig, playing in WIldwood at an outdoor thing on the weekend of the fourth and he was so excited as they had a good time and did well. It is always fun listening to him talk about things - he's always sharing/showing me something (he is the drummer and also the manager and does all the promotion and PR and it is his band)

I got this special season four pack to catch 4 musicals at the kimmel center in Philly - they start hmm I think in january - not sure - but I got them because it guatuntees I get a seat next summer when Wicked comes to Philly - yesssssssssssssssss - the other three musicals are Edward Scissorhands (I am intrigued as to how that is a musical) Pippen (not sure what that is) and Spamalot - wheeeeeeeee - can not wait

a chat with a sister

this is part of an AOL IM convo I had with my one sister while I was writing the previous journal - warning - it is totally raw, not too funny, kinda a little glimpse into places I usually don't look (and showcases how immature my grammar and thinkign really are) and prolly only funny to my sister and I.... but eh another slice of life...

Sister: ookay kinda back right
Sister: grrr brb
Sister is away at 1:28:54 AM.
me: ok well still here and still talking to no one except you : )
Auto response from Sister: I am away from my computer right now.
Sister returned at 1:30:42 AM.
Sister: awww maybe you should go to sleep
Sister: hehee
me: naw i can't
Sister: its cool me too
Sister: I am just so pissed of f right now
me: I can not make myself work on something which is bad I have so much to do kath
me: but not really sleepy
me: why are you pissed tell me again
Sister: I am sorry
me: it is ok I am just moody as hell and have so much to do and just can not get focused
me: maybe the conference will help and also in a way it is sad but her not being around Friday through today adn even now not talking to me well it hurts but also it is good because it helps me break away and such and also just kinda reminds me of certain things that I am looking and maybe find someday but not today... lots of bad and good things goign through my head
Sister: julie I don't want to get into it again
me: ok I just wanted to say if you wanted to talk go for it
Sister: I know and I am sorry its not you I am so so sorry
Sister: julie I want to screeeaaammm
Sister: and not for the reason I am gonna
me: I do not understand what you mean?
Sister: ummm what did I say
Sister: hahahhahahahehehehehe
Sister: I keep clicking off the window to keep others from seeing, nibby shits
Sister: hahhahahehehehehahahahahehehehe
Sister: omg I am so wasted and I am not drunk
Sister: lol
me: you said - Sister: julie I want to screeeaaammm Sister: and not for the reason I am gonna
me: why are you wasted?
me: and I wanna be wasted
Sister: ohhh
Sister: hahahhaaha
Sister: kidding
Sister: I meant that I want to never mind
Sister: hahahhahahahaa
me: no what, you want to nevermind? I am so confuzzed now
me: and damn it I am not drinking either this is natural me confuzzion
Sister: you should girl friend go get wasted tomorrow night
Sister: hahhahahah lol
Sister: hahahha
me: hehe
me: nah I teach
Sister: brb damit
me: ok I am here al alone waiting
Sister: hehee
me: wow that was a quick brb
me: you getting good at that on and off thing
me: :P
me: ok here is what i have typed so far for my journal tell me how it sounds
me: Well had an ok weekend.......
Sister: k i read
Sister: you didnt' tell me that
me: and damn she just got off and did not even say good night :-(
me: I will but I gotta type more hang on
Sister: she prob fell asleep
Sister: hehehe
Sister: hang on to what
Sister: lol
Sister: ahhaah'
Sister: I do that I fall asleep and than just hit goodbye and go
me: i know she did maybe and I know she meant nothing by it who knows what is going on on the other side of the online screen and you always say the positive things - I am still sad
Sister: I know juls
Sister: I will fix that I swear
me: i just am selfish and wish she had said goodnight
me: I am dumb
Sister: no yr not
Sister: your 25 yr old younger sister is cause she living in my front closet
Sister: hahahha
Sister: I got some nerve I just told her ass to clean it up right now
Sister: lol
Sister: hahahaaa
me: good for you
me: make her hose down the house and spray Lysol
Sister is away at 1:50:13 AM.
Sister returned at 1:56:17 AM.
Sister: next time for trying to go out better be soon dork a lork a you need to get out there
Sister: I need to go for a few will you still be around
me: I am goign to watch a little of kill bill (writing about uma in the journala dn such makes me think I go watch the movie some) if you get back please ping ok?
Sister: ko juls
Sister: kill bill huh never seen it need to?
me: : )
me: ooooo yeahhhhh
Sister: good?
me: yes part 1 and 2
Sister: okay its a must do on my list than
Sister: hehehehee lol
me: ben would like it too
me: it is Quentin taratino
me: making fun of as well as a tribute to martial art films
Sister: love you and I shall be back...(i'll try.......wink)
me: and uma thurman soo damn sexy I need my special vibrator is the star
Sister: ohhh cools he prob would than
me: ok
Sister: lol
me: I can let you borrow them
Sister: hahahahahahahahahaa
Sister: hahahahahhahaha
me: : ) I meant just the movie you nerdy-gook - you can't have my special :P
Sister: coools and LMAO
me: you like that do you...
me: I made us laugh and not be so depressed
me: yay me!
Sister: hahahahhahahaha
Sister: lol
Sister: okay gonna run before my little one wakes up baby
me: ok
me: give a ping or else we talk tomorrow
Sister: deallllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sister: smoochies
me: miss you
Sister: bye bye for a but
Sister: oohhsssspppss bit
me: oh yeah
Sister: hahahahhaahahah
me: I would go bye bye for a butt
Sister: lol
me: uma's
Sister: hahahahahaha
Sister: hehe
me: :-)
me: ok i am getting worked up
me: damn
Sister: uma's what? butt..nahhhhh not pink enough
me: hehe – geez you are forward tonight
me: pink white, shit I dunno care
Sister: hahahahahahaha
Sister: lol
Sister: hahahahahha
Sister: bye bye for now
Sister: hehehehehheeheh go and push that dvd button already
Sister: hahahahaha
me: give me some butt, or even better some front
me: haha – ok enough getting worked up I need to stop or at least go fantasize about a couple certian someone's
Sister: lol
Sister: yummy
Sister: hehehahahaha
me: yes yummy
Sister: okay I be back smoocies
me: uma yummy
me: hmm say that 5 times fast
me: ok go bye
Sister: :-P
Sister: :-D
me: um ooo I bad
Sister: lol
Sister: :-P
me: hehee
Sister: okay gotta run
Sister: talk in a bit

Tripping through another weekend

Well had an ok weekend.

Friday was weird as about 10am I am sitting in the bathroom at my work trying to do, well… that bathroom thing and I hear this weird sizzle, zap, funky electronic type of noise and the bathroom light dims, goes out, comes back and then I hear this weird almost whooshing/running water sound. And the noise came from the wall right next to the place I am sitting

Ok next paragraph very guttural, crass and dirty but a kinda funny thing------

Luckily I am sitting down on the porcelain throne already as I got scared. It is total dark in that bathroom except the light – no exterior light. Plus I do not like the dark and such… and the noise was so sudden and load and it was right there on the other side of the wall which is like one inch from where I am sitting, with my pants pulled down so feeling very vulnerable…. So, given that, I would have pissed my pants in fright, but in the weirdest universal moment of being in the right place at the right time. I ended up peeing myself from the scare but it happened to hit the right place – lol

So I cut the stream as I am freaking and wipe, fuck the washing of hands, and get out of the bathroom PDQ pulling up my jeans just before flying out the hall.

---- back to non crass language

I get back to the computer lab and where my office is (it is a cubicle in the back of the lab) And talking to co worker – apparently a surge caused many computers to go out. So we sitting there then hear weird alarms and then they stop and then all power in the 300 wing (half the school) goes out. This is also the half of the school that has all the computer and phone serves. So basically the computers and phone system go down.

We find out the power will be out a while plus if it comes back on it takes time for the computer servers to reboot. So after finding out that they were cleaning and repairing the A/C units in the demonstration hotel we have for our Travel and Tourism occupational program. Thus frying the circuits and were waiting for the electric company to come cause something major happened – we decided to go home. So I got to go home at about 11.

Friday night I went to Philly to catch a couple of films as part of the 12th annual Gay and Lesbian Film Festival sponsored by the Philadelphia Film society. I saw a collection of shorts, which were good and then a short with Sandra Bernhard – she was there live in the theater to accept an award – she looked nice in person. Then saw the film What's Up Scarlet? I wish I could find someone like the two main characters found each other. It was a good film. And the actresses were good.

I chickened out and went home after that instead of getting the courage to try and visit one of the after movie parties or clubs or such up there. Ah well maybe next time.

Saturday I just did some errands and this and that. Tried to work on projects I need to get done and found motivation very bad, the blech, blahs are upon me but eh. Managed to grade the student exams and was happy they were all pretty good, no one failed – hurray!

Sunday was filled with more of the same – exercised a bit, managed to work on the organizing projects a little (a little more clutter actually reduced or at least moved to a new pile so I feel like I accomplished something – lmao

Starting to think about getting ready for the upcoming conference (It is for NAF and presenting – it is in Detroit) – also trying to get things set for work…

Always rushing around doing this and that – I find I keep myself busy to try and keep myself from being reminded about certain topics and issues – not sure if this is true but in my mind I have convinced myself it is better to be busy and stressed and over-worked then sitting, alone, depressed about being alone and wishing you were not alone and could find someone…..

Still working through a few books and still wanting to rent 4400 season 2 as well as get ahold of Dark Angel. Also have a few other movies and wow there are like 4 movies coming out the 21 I wanna see – especially the Uma Thurman flick – comedy, action, sexy Uma Thurman…. Ahhhh I will end my entry here on a good fantasy note – hmmm think I am going to go watch Kill Bill…. I like those movies… :-P ok off to watch a great movie – hehehehe (yeah great by whose definition….)

I have a date - well not the kind I'd like to have but....

Wheeeee - if all goes well I am scheduled September 12 to have braces removed... now fi i could get a date to help me celebrate said date then I'd be really date happy - lol

But for now I am date giddy - no more braces - ohhhh yeahhhhhhhhh

update later on other interesting and odd stuff of late (like how I was in the bathroom when our school lost power today andwhat happened.... hehe

Movies, Pinball and variances

Someone commented about liking LOTR better than the Sopranos pinball. And yeah, I agreed for the most part with them. The reason I say that is because one of the things I like about pinball is a good game tells a story and so you are not only playing but helping write the story - yeah I know that is a weird thing :-P

Although Sopranos is a little easier in terms of making the shots needed to advance - for Sopranos it is you advance in family ranking in LOTR you advance through the three main stories - but Sopranos is IMO more formulaic making it easier to get into a groove although the one place I usually play (they only charge 25 per game for most games - I like that place)

But yeah today I played actually Sopranos, Monopoly (that was the first time and I'd play again but the game was broken somewhat – actually the Sopranos one was too) but also played Theater of Magic and Lord of the Rings (the place I hit on the boardwalk after my walk has about 15 – 20 games and all for about 25 a game – wheeee). I actually mainly played LOTR and I, to brag a little, got three free games – of course I am no where that good as the wizards– hehe – but I enjoy the game even when I do a three strike and out. And I know I am funny to watch as I really get into the game.

But this weekend really did not do too much – saw a couple of movies, both I liked – Pirates of the Caribbean and Imagine Me and You. I enjoyed some of the action shots and fights in PoC and will say no more about it to keep things spoiler free – for now – although Keira in a few scenes (again trying not to spoil) but damn she looked good and no I am not talking about the scenes where she wears a dress……

The other movie I liked a lot – from the two main actresses (both looking very hot and both very good actors) to the starting scene where on the way to her wedding she has to pee and is running through a McDonalds – that would be me – haha

I loved that the other main character is sitting for awhile at the wedding because she answers the one kid's questions that no one else would – again that would be me - lol

But the movie got me thinking about wishes and dreams and drat if only I was so lucky as the two main characters –(yes I liked the sappy happy romantic ending – no loved it) and hoping someday I am…. To bring a quote from the movie, "They say fairy tales have happy endings even though the passage can be rough."

Working on the yard some this weekend – I managed to do some pruning of the 101 bushes around this place as well as cutting grass. I also got a reminder I live in a rural place. I am going out back to put up the weed-eater and I step out my door and there on my patio not to far from me is a brown snake in the middle of eating a live frog. The frog is about 1/4 of the way in its mouth, still alive and breathing.

So after I drop the shit I am holding and scream (it was not a girly scream, really, honest, well it was not too much and too long :-P ) I go oooooo shit that is cool and go back out.

The snake had gotten spooked and moved a little into the bushes still swallowing the frog who is still breathing, you can see its bullfrog throat going in and out and it occasionally struggled as the snake worked it down. It actually got it down pretty quick. I did not see it finish as I was going in and out and it was up to the head when I went in and when I came out the snake was gone so I am guessing it had the frog in and went off to lie like a fat log and digest.

So some interesting things along the weekend and getting ready for the upcoming week. And thus – My life rolls on with the little variances from day to day – I raise my glass, tip my hat, to interesting, exciting , curiosity, adventurous, thoughtful and fun-loving/fun-producing variances I encounter….

Hitting and Missing

Well last night was a major miss by more than a mile.

My first Physical Science class crashed and burned. I got thrown off at the getgo as I was given teh 7th edition to prep and the bookstore students had the 6th. Then I find about 1/3 of the students could not get textbooks because the bookstore ran out. This is a summer class and our first exam is wednesday.

Then I messed up, went to fast, jumbled a couple of problems in a row and basically lost a lot of respect.

Then the students in this class are either have not had math and science for 10 years and need lots of slow reminders or just out of high school had this class and are bored Sh*tless.

So that all led to me making it through to 8:45 and feeling very shitty. And still dragging today (I think the fact I am um hormonal right now and about to swing into something along with other shitty thoughts on other topics is not helping me get rid of this dour mood)

But I will put on a stiff upper lip, regroup over the weekend and push on and hopefully Monday will be better.

So until I kick my keister back into not so blech mood, forgive me if I'm well blech....

Good music

Most Fun

I attended a really great concert Saturday. It was at the Festival Pier in Philadelphia. I had never been in the area. The venue is kinda sucky and kinda okay. Sucky for a short person, overall a nice outdoor concert space. I mean it is a stage with a large open space surrounding it.

I liked the area, was not aware of its existence, may have to go back again to try some of the different places. I got there early so went to Dave and Buster's, which was cool – I played a lot of the basketball shooting hoops, I like shooting hoops, not very good but I like it. No pinball though drat it (although I did get some pinball in Sunday when I did my walk on the Boardwalk). Also did the shooting gallery plus made a mess of things playing The Lost world – I kept shooting the freaking humans – it is like get the hell out of the way I am randomly shooting everything on the damn screen – lol.

Standing in line for the concert was funny listening to the people around me comment on anything and everything ;P

But loved The Hush Sound – was the second time I have seen them. Loved the Dresden Dolls AND I GOT TO MEET THEM AND YES I AM SHOUTING AND NO NOT STOPPING UNTIL I GOT TO MEET – lol

But it was cool I went to meet them and got my CD and ticket signed – although now I have an extra CD I think I send one to a friend if she wants it. And they both liked my shirt – it is the one that says Rediscover the Power of Play.

Panic at the disco was good too, they had a stage show and it was a lot like their videos.

So it made for an enjoyable time and good music. Although still looking for people to join me in my crazy travels.